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Business Jokes :: #19672
By Anonymous from USA.
CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought
Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
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Health :: #6176
By Anonymous from USA.
Want to live longer?
Here's what recent studies explain:
A Norwegian study show that people who had someone to talk to during times of distress reported better health.
A study in the Journal Psychosomatic Medicine found that women who reported feelings of loneliness had an increased risk of heart disease.
A study published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology concluded that women who felt socially isolated had an increased risk of death after a breast cancer diagnosis. Researchers suspect this was due to the lack of care typically given by a person's friends and relatives.
In a 10-year Australian study, researchers found that having strong social networks helps protect against mortality, therefore, researchers suggest that the company you keep; your friends; may lengthen your life.
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