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Elderly Jokes :: #18803
By Wiley Post from Durham North Carolina USA.
An elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken in to.
She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
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Love & Dating :: #2317
By mike swindlehurst from bournemouth United Kingdom
Ingredients for a wedding
Ingredients
4-lb of love
1-lb of youth
0.5-lb of good looks
1-lb of sweet temper
1-lb of blindness to faults
1-lb of self-forgetfulness
1-lb of powdered wit
1-lb of good humor
2 -tbsp of sweet argument
1- pint of rippling laughter
1- wine glass of common sense
1- oz of modesty
Put the love, good looks and sweet temper into a well-furnished house. Beat the butter of youth to a cream and mix well to blindness of faults.
Stir the pounded wit and good humor in to the sweet argument; then add the rippling laughter and common sense. Work the whole together until everything is mixed and bake gently forever.
(Found in a church book of recipes about 1900AD)
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