Friday, December 31, 2010

Clean Joke of the Day

If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
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http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

Someone (I do not know who, but their genius far exceeds
mine) came up with this humorous list to help you recognize
the signs of the times for 2010:

1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.

2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family
of three.

3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to
eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, "What's for
dinner?"

4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.

5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South
Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor
yet this year.

6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup
to see if it contains Echinacea.

7. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your
newborn so she can create a screen saver.

8. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone
to see if anyone is home.

9. You buy a computer and 6 months later it is out of date
and now sells for half the price you paid.

10. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you
didn't have the first 20 or 30 years of your life, is cause
for panic and turning around to go get it.

11. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a
purchase would be a hassle and take planning.

12. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food
bags out of the back seat of your car.

13. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that
they do not have e-mail addresses.

14. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.

15. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.

16. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it
notes.

17. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in
person.

18. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.

19. You get up in the morning and go online before getting
your coffee.

20. You wake up at 2 am to go to the bathroom and check your
E-mail on your way back to bed.

21. You're reading this.

22. Even worse; you may even forward it to someone else.
-----------------------------------------------------------

What signs do you seek for this age in time?

But he said, Yea rather, blessed are they that hear the word
of God, and keep it. And when the people were gathered thick
together, he began to say, This is an evil generation: they
seek a sign; and there shall no sign be given it, but the
sign of Jonas the prophet.

For as Jonas was a sign unto the Ninevites, so shall also
the Son of man be to this generation. The queen of the south
shall rise up in the judgment with the men of this
generation, and condemn them: for she came from the utmost
parts of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and,
behold, a greater than Solomon is here.

The men of Nineve shall rise up in the judgment with this
generation, and shall condemn it: for they repented at the
preaching of Jonas; and, behold, a greater than Jonas is
here.

No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth it in a
secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candlestick,
that they which come in may see the light. The light of the
body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy
whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is
evil, thy body also is full of darkness. Take heed therefore
that the light which is in thee be not darkness.

If thy whole body therefore be full of light, having no part
dark, the whole shall be full of light, as when the bright
shining of a candle doth give thee light. -Luke 11:28

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
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P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.

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The Joke of The Day
Marriage Jokes :: #115
By Julie from Unknown

A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. The husband responded "When we were first married we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all the minor decisions. And in 60 years of marriage we have never needed to make a major decision."


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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Fitness :: #6159
By Lisa M. from Los Angeles, CA USA.

Stay Slim
People who are on their feet as often as possible are 62% more likely to stay slim, even if they don't exercise! "Stand every chance you get – when you are on the phone in quick meetings or even opening the mail.

 
 
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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Clean Joke of the Day

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receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

A mother and a daughter are Christmas shopping in the mall, when
the mother eyes an expensive fur coat.

"This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present
instead of making you and dad shop for me."

The daughter nods in agreement before the mother continues.

"And I think this fur coat would be perfect too."

"But mom," the daughter protests, "Some helpless, poor creature
has to suffer so that you can have this."

"Don't worry honey," replies the mother, "Your father won't get
the bill for a couple of weeks."
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure
and trouble therewith. -Proverbs 15:16

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
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or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com


P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.

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The Joke of The Day
Gender Slam :: #14379
By Kinnies from USA.

Q: What do you call a man who just lost his brain?

A: Divorced.



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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Money :: #6165
By Anonymous from USA.

Rufus ate or mutilated your money?
Send the remains of paper money along with a letter on how it was destroyed to the Bureau of Engraving and Printing at MCD/OFM, BEPA, Room 344A. P.O. Box 37048, Washington, D.C. Make sure it's packaged in a way to prevent further deterioration and send it via registered mail, return receipt requested.

Generally, the bureau requires that you have more than half of the original bill so there's no chance that you will be reimburse twice. If your have less, examiners will need to verify that the rest of the bill is truly destroyed. The bureau only redeems destroyed U.S. paper money. Be patient it takes six weeks to 20 months for mutilated currency examiners to process a case.

Bills that are merely worn out, defaced or dirty can be exchanged at your local bank.



 
 
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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Clean Joke of the Day

If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

'Twas the night of Christmas,
But I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep
The leftovers beckoned
The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.

Tossing and turning with anticipation,
The thought of a snack became infatuation!
So I raced to the kitchen,
Flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge full of goodies galore.

I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
Till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground!!

I crashed through the ceiling, floated into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie,
But I managed to yell
as I soared past the trees ...

HAPPY EATING TO ALL,
PASS THE CRANBERRIES PLEASE!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------

It is not good to eat much honey: so for men to search their own
glory is not glory. He that hath no rule over his own spirit is
like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
-Proverbs 25:27-28

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
http://www.clean-joke-of-the-day.net/mail/rem.php?u=0e71ea7
or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com


P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.

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The Joke of The Day
College Jokes :: #27
By Tina Cook from USA.

College

A college's student body is composed of the sons and daughters of the very rich who could not meet the academic requirements of any other college. Lo and behold, the college basketball team wins every game and dominates their league. All this success is due to one amazing player - a cross between Larry Bird and Michael Jordan.

This kid is terrific. The player and the team become the center of nationwide media attention. The student body is thrilled. Now, the NCAA goes to the college and asks for proof of this player's academic eligibility. The college administration promises such documentation in a few days. The faculty works night and day coaching the student for the crucial test.

The day of the public examination arrives, and the entire student body is there to support their star player. A professor stands, and announces the first question, "How much is five and two?" The student frowns in deep concentration - he thinks, he sweats, he shakes with effort. At last he shouts the answer, "SEVEN". The entire student body rises, and as a single voice, they cry. "Give him another chance. Give him another chance".




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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Words of Knowledge :: #2271
By Anonymous from USA.

Imagination
"Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about doing it right, or doing it better."

- John Updike -



 
 
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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Clean Joke of the Day

If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

The pastor of the Church was looking over the cradle in the
Church's soon to be put away nativity scene when he noticed that
the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures.

Instinctively the pastor went outside to search for the missing
figure, and soon he saw a little boy with a red wagon. In the
wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus.

Unsure how to handle the situation, the pastor walked up to the
boy and said, "Well, where did you get Him, my fine friend?"

The little boy replied, "I got him from the church."

"And why did you take him?"

The boy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to
the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would bring me a red
wagon for Christmas I would give him a ride around the block in
it."
-----------------------------------------------------------------

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can
be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him
up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all
things? -Romans 8:31-32

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
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or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com


P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.

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The Joke of The Day
Animal Jokes :: #5538
By Jeff from Sydney Australia

Two rather old retired racehorses are in a bar getting totally drunk. After about two hours the first racehorse says "You know.... when I was a young racehorse...from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 90 races, got 5 seconds and 5 thirds.... I am without doubt the greatest racehorse that ever lived....blah blah blah..."

In response to this and approximately a half an hour later the second racehorse responded, "Oh yeah...when I was a young racehorse...from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 95 races, got 2 seconds and 3 thirds.... I am the greatest racehorse that ever lived.... blah blah blah..."

Now it was about this time that the bartender (a greyhound) decided that they were drunk enough so he said, "I am sick of you two telling one another how great you are, you are both drunk and I am throwing you out of the bar, but before I do I want to let you know that when I was a young greyhound, from one hundred starts, I won 100 races, no seconds and no thirds."

The two racehorses were shocked and for 5 minutes sat with their mouths open until the fist racehorse finally said, "Isn't that amazing (hic)...a talking greyhound!"




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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Love Quotes :: #161
By Jenny Chawdhry from Miami USA.

Path to Truth
There is no path to truth, it must come to you. Truth can come to you only when your mind and heart are simple, clear, and there is love in your heart; not if

your heart is filled with the things of the mind.

J. Krishnamurti

 
 
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Monday, December 27, 2010

Clean Joke of the Day

If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

Planning a Christmas weekend of entertaining guests, Sally made a
list of things she needed to do, including taking food out of the
freezer and grocery shopping.

As it happened, a friend whom Sally had been promising to take to
lunch called to ask about going out right then. Having no
objections, Sally hopped into the car and taped her "To do" list
to the dashboard before leaving to pick her friend up.

As Sally's friend settled into the car, she caught sight of the
"To do" list and her face immediately dropped.

"Thanks a lot!" she sulked after noticing the first item on the
list.

It read: "Take out the Turkey."
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Do you sometimes feel like you are someone else's turkey?

But we are bound to give thanks alway to God for you, brethren
beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen
you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief
of the truth: whereunto he called you by our gospel, to the
obtaining of the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore, brethren, stand fast, and hold the traditions which ye
have been taught, whether by word, or our epistle. Now our Lord
Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved
us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope
through grace, Comfort your hearts, and stablish you in every
good word and work. -2 Thes. 2:13-17

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
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or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com


P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.

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The Joke of The Day
Male Jokes :: #16594
By Mel Atkinson from United Kingdom

Men are like a pack of Cards:

A "heart" to love them

A "diamond" to marry them

A "club" to smack them and

A "spade" to bury the body...



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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Proverbs :: #725
By Sonja D. Shelledy from Elko USA.

How is life ?
If you don't like the way life is treating you,

then look at the way you are treating life.



 
 
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Sunday, December 26, 2010

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The Joke of The Day
Work Jokes :: #4656
By matt friedman from NASHVILL tn USA.

Three visitors to London climb up the tower that houses Big Ben and decide to have a contest. They're going to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch the watches before they hit the ground.

The first tourist throws his watch, takes three steps and hears his watch crash. The second throws his watch and takes only two steps when he hears his watch shatter.

The third tosses his watch off the tower, jogs down the stairs, goes to a candy store, buys a snack, walks back to Big Ben and catches his watch. "How did you do that?" asks one of his friends.

"My watch is 30 minutes slow."




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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Interpersonal Skills :: #837
By Khaled Hossain from Dhaka Bangladesh

Problem


Be courageous to face any sort of problem as early as possible. It is like a small flame. If you try, you can stop it easily. If you don't, it will be bigger day by day and burn everything.



 
 
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Saturday, December 25, 2010

Clean Joke of the Day

If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

In a small town I was recently visiting, where accents run
thick, there was a Nativity Scene that showed much great
skill and talent had gone into it's creation.

However, one small feature about the scene bothered me. The
three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.

As I was leaving town, I stopped at a gas station to fuel up.
With my curiosity getting the best of me, I asked the lady
behind the counter about the helmets.

"Haven't you never read the Bible!" she asked me.

I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything
about the wise men being associated with firemen in the Bible.

She pulled her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled
through some pages, finally finding her desired passage.

Showing it to me, she said, "See, it says right here, 'The
three wise man came from afar.'"
-----------------------------------------------------------

Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days
of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east
to Jerusalem, saying, Where is he that is born King of the
Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to
worship him.

When Herod the king had heard these things, he was troubled,
and all Jerusalem with him. And when he had gathered all the
chief priests and scribes of the people together, he
demanded of them where Christ should be born.

And they said unto him, In Bethlehem of Judaea: for thus it
is written by the prophet, and thou Bethlehem, in the land
of Juda, art not the least among the princes of Juda: for
out of thee shall come a Governor, that shall rule my people
Israel.

Then Herod, when he had privily called the wise men,
enquired of them diligently what time the star appeared. And
he sent them to Bethlehem, and said, Go and search diligently
for the young child; and when ye have found him, bring me
word again, that I may come and worship him also.

When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the
star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it
came and stood over where the young child was. When they saw
the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.

And when they were come into the house, they saw the young
child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped
him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented
unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh. And being
warned of God in a dream that they should not return to Herod,
they departed into their own country another way.

And when they were departed, behold, the angel of the Lord
appeareth to Joseph in a dream, saying, Arise, and take the
young child and his mother, and flee into Egypt, and be thou
there until I bring thee word: for Herod will seek the young
child to destroy him.

When he arose, he took the young child and his mother by
night, and departed into Egypt: and was there until the death
of Herod: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the
Lord by the prophet, saying, Out of Egypt have I called my
son. -Matthew 2:1

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
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Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

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Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

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The Joke of The Day
Miscellaneous Jokes :: #10670
By Suzanne Lockyer from NW Ontario Canada

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Bubba:

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad

A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad:

For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.

Love, Bubba

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local Police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad:

Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love, Bubba




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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Famous Quote :: #51
By Peter Prestipino from Chicago USA.

QUOTE: Success, Emerson
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson



 
 
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Friday, December 24, 2010

Clean Joke of the Day

If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping.
It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny.
When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are
twenty $1 bills."

The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time
I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a
reward."
-----------------------------------------------------------

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he
that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a
rewarder of them that diligently seek him. -Hebrews 11:6

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
http://www.clean-joke-of-the-day.net/mail/rem.php?u=0e71ea7
or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com


P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

aJokeADay.com - A Joke A Day
 
The Joke of The Day
Lawyer Jokes :: #92
By Emilio Candia from Santiago R. M. Chile

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer — you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"


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The most-wished-for, most-gifted, and has the most 5-star reviews of any product ...
 
 
The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Famous Quote :: #51
By Peter Prestipino from Chicago USA.

QUOTE: Success, Emerson
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson



 
 
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4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641

1995-2008 © All rights reserved.

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