A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Bar & Drinking Jokes :: #269 By Rick Kennedy from Chicago USA. A guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of whisky. He gulps it down and peeks into his shirt pocket. He orders another shot of whisky, gulps it down and peeks into his short pocket. He orders a third shot and does the same thing. After the sixth shot, he asks the bartender for the bill, pays and starts to walk out. Curiosity gets the better of the bartender and he says to the guy, "Excuse me, but I noticed that every time you drank a shot, you kept looking into your pocket. I was wondering what's in your pocket." The guy slurs, "Well, I have a picture of my wife in my pocket. I keep drinking until she starts to look good." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Nutrition :: #44 By Peter Prestipino from Chicago USA. Cut Fat Avoid the obvious such as fried foods, burgers and other fatty meats (i.e. pork, bacon, ham, salami, ribs and sausage). Dairy products such as cheese, cottage cheese, milk and cream should be eaten in low fat versions. Nuts and sandwich meats, mayonnaise, margarine, butter and sauces should be eaten in limited amounts. Most are available in lower fat versions such as substitute butter, fat free cheeses and mayonnaise. Thought for the day: Lean, mean, fat-burning machine…. Then be one!     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

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Web Humor Web Humor Viral Videos Pictures & Comics Blogs From Lukas Kaiser, your Guide to Web Humor Me Need Watch More: The Top 11 Web Series After a long, hot summer of there being nothing on TV and having to go out and do stuff like it's the middle ages or something, our favorite TV shows... Read more Is It Just Me or Is It Awfully Entitled in Here? We're all pretty good at whining. After all, it's one of the first things we learn to do as babies. This is for evolutionary reasons: if babies didn't whine then... Read more Things That Make You Go "Neat!" The word "neat" originally meant orderly and tidy. As in, "Felix is neat, Oscar is not." But at some point in the 20th century, it came to also mean "cool"... Read more Funny Websites A breakdown of the funniest Websites on the Internet. Web Humor Ads Pictures Humor Funny Vidoes Good Humor Funny Effects Funny Photo More about Web Humor Viral Videos Best of the Best Web Comics Stupid But Funny Blogs, Tweets & Emails Holiday Humor   More from About.com Essential Medical Tests for Women For women, certain medical tests and health screenings are recommended on a yearly basis. Learn which screenings are essential for your health, and why. More> Finding the Right Doctor Whether you need a new primary care doctor or a specialist to take care of specific symptoms, you'll want to follow these guidelines to choose the right physician for your medical care. More> This newsletter is written by: Lukas Kaiser Web Humor Guide Email Me | My Blog | My Forum   Sign up for more free newsletters on your favorite topics You are receiving this newsletter because you subscribed to the About Web Humor newsletter. If you wish to change your email address or unsubscribe, please click here. About respects your privacy: Our Privacy Policy Contact Information: 249 West 17th Street New York, NY, 10011 © 2011 About.com   Must Reads What Is a Viral Video? The Top 20 Viral Videos The 20 Funniest Celebrities on Twitter The Best Super Bowl Ads 2010 The 20 Funniest Webcomics Advertisement

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Airplane Jokes :: #12738 By Ryan Hoekstra from Cobourg Ontario Canada Four people are in an airplane, the pilot, the smartest man in the world, the richest man in the world, and a punk teenager. The airplane experiences some difficulties, and the pilot informs the three passengers that the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes on the plane. The richest man in the world takes one, because he says that his lawyers will sue everyone else on the plane if he doesn't survive. The smartest man in the world takes a parachute, because he thinks that the world would be a worse place without him. The pilot says to the punk "There's only one parachute left, I'll fight you for it." "That won't be necessary," said the punk, "The smartest man in the world took my backpack." Forward this joke to your friends >>   One-Liners :: #115 By Lisa Roze from Vancouver Canada Dreams... "Dreams are the seedlings of reality" By: James Allen     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Elderly Jokes :: #18866 By Antoine from Haliburton ON Canada Three old couples were having tea one fine day. There were all chatting and whatnot when one of the men, trying to get a chuckle, said to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey!" Getting the chuckle he expected, he carried on. A moment later, the second man said, "Pass the sugar, sugar!" This got a bit of a bigger laugh, so the third man, although not quite as clever or quick-witted as the other two, decided to join in the fun. He waited for the perfect opportunity, cleared his throat and then confidently said, "Pass the tea, bag!" Forward this joke to your friends >>   Self-Improvement :: #363 By Marge Rogers from Jefferson USA. Making Mistakes If you make a mistake at work try not to get so upset; just ask yourself how it will matter next week or next year? If you have no answers then don't dwell on it and move on.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

One Liners Jokes :: #21578 By Kgosi from Soweto Gauteng South Africa A teacher asked students to bring old staff, 1 kid came with his grandpa Forward this joke to your friends >>   Miscellaneous :: #3212 By R.RAMACHANDRA RAO from HYDERABAD India Youth Youth is wasted on the young - BERNARD SHAW -     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Question / Answer Jokes :: #22127 By Arthur Green from Hove East Sussex United Kingdom Q. Where can men over 50 find younger sexy women who are interest in them? A. Try a bookstore under fiction! Q. How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year old husband? A. Tell him you're pregnant! Forward this joke to your friends >>   One-Liners :: #809 By Isaac Tush from Nairobi Kenya DO NOT CRY I laugh because I must not cry. - Abraham Lincoln     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Doctors Jokes :: #11557 By Anonymous from USA. A man walks into the psychiatrist's office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a breadstick in his right ear. He says, "What is wrong with me? The psychiatrist replies, "You are not eating properly." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Famous Quote :: #224 By Mandy Moses from Clinton USA. Bookstores "A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking." -Jerry Seinfeld     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Entertainment Jokes :: #12620 By from USA. Frank was madly in love with Susan, but couldn't get up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone. "Darling! He blurted out, "Will you marry me?" "Of course, I will, you silly boy," she replied, "Who's speaking?" Forward this joke to your friends >>   Famous Quote :: #181 By Jessica Martinelli from Boston USA. Free thought Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. --Tom Robbins     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com