Sunday, September 12, 2010

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

aJokeADay.com - A Joke A Day
 
The Joke of The Day
Animal Jokes :: #372
By Walter Smith from Unknown

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.

The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious!

She stormed past the store to her work.

On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now.

The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and warned she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.

When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."

She paused and said,"Yes?"

The bird said, "You know."



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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Famous Quote :: #51
By Peter Prestipino from Chicago USA.

QUOTE: Success, Emerson
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson



 
 
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WeeklyJokes.com #66

Hi :),

Here is this week's joke from WeeklyJokes.com.


Leisure reading

1) "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."
- Tom Clancy

2) "You know that 'look' women get when they want sex? Me neither."
- Steve Martin

3) "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good."
- Drew Carey

4) "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you'd better have a good hand."
- Woody Allen

5) "If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all."
- Rodney Dangerfield

6) "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on
Saturday night."
- Woody Allen

7) "I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty."
- George Burns

8) "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting
married."
- Matt Barry

9) "Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at
the taxidermist."
- Camille Paglia

10) "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
- George Burns

11) "Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
- Henry Miller

12) "The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362
> > admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't
love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."
- Lynn Lavner

13)"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 300SL convertible."
- Unknown

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Inspirational Quote

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- William Bridges

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