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Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!
Top Reasons for Being a Tenor:
-Tenors get high without drugs.
-Name a musical where the bass got the girl.
-You can show the sopranos how it SHOULD be sung.
-Did you ever hear of anyone paying $1000 for a ticket to
see The Three Basses?
-Who needs brains when you've got resonance?
-Tenors never have to waste time looking through the self-
improvement section of the bookstore.
-When you get really good at falsetto, you can make tons of
money doing voice-overs for cartoon characters.
-Gregorian chant was practically invented for tenors. Nobody
invented a genre for basses.
Top Reasons for Being a Bass:
-You don't have to tighten your shorts to reach your note.
-You don't have to worry about a woman stealing your job.
-Or a pre adolescent boy.
-Action heroes are always basses. That is, if they ever
sang, they would sing bass.
-You get great memorable lyrics like bop, bop, bop, bop
(boong ching ... boong chi-ching).
-If the singing job doesn't work out, there's always
broadcasting.
-You never need to learn to read the treble clef.
-It doesn't matter much if you get a cold.
-For fun, you can sing at the bottom of your range and fool
people into thinking there's an earthquake.
-If you burp while you're singing, the audience just thinks
it's part of the score.
Top Ten Reasons for Being a Soprano:
-The rest of the choir exists just to make you look good.
-Can you name an opera where an alto got the man?
-When sopranos sing in the shower, they know the tune.
-You are never going to sing the alto part by accident.
-Great costumes: like the hat with the horns on it.
-How many world famous altos can you name?
-When the fat lady sings, she's usually singing soprano.
-When you get tired of the tune, you can sing the descant.
Top Ten Reasons for Being an Alto:
-You get really good at singing E flat.
-You get to sing the same note for 12 consecutive measures.
(tang ... tang ... tang ...)
-No warm up needed to sing 12 consecutive bars of E flat.
-If the choir really stinks, it's unlikely the altos will be
blamed.
-You have lots of time to chat during soprano solos.
-You get to pretend that you are better than the sopranos,
because everybody knows that women only sing soprano so
they don't have to learn to read music.
-You can sometimes find part time work singing tenor.
-Altos get all the great intervals.
-When the sopranos are holding some outrageously high note
at the end of an anthem, the altos always get the last words.
-When the altos miss a note, nobody gets hurt.
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O come, let us sing unto the LORD: let us make a joyful
noise to the rock of our salvation. Let us come before his
presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him
with psalms.
For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods.
In his hand are the deep places of the earth: the strength
of the hills is his also. The sea is his, and he made it:
and his hands formed the dry land. O come, let us worship
and bow down: let us kneel before the LORD our maker.
For he is our God; and we are the people of his pasture, and
the sheep of his hand. -Psalms 95:1
I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!
Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity
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Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.
Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
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