A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Family Jokes :: #16984 By clyde messenger from baton rouge la USA. "Dad, where did I come from?" asks this 10-years-old. The father was shocked that a 10 year old would be asking a question like that. He was hoping to wait a few more years before he would have to explain the facts of life, but he figured it was better a few years early than a few days too late, so, for the next two hours he explained every thing to his son. When he got finished, he asked his son what prompted his question to which his son replied, "I was talking to the new kid across the street and he said he came from Ohio, so I was just wondering where I came from." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Sustainability :: #5157 By Anonymous from USA. Mold in the bathroom To remove mold from the grout between the bathroom tiles in a spray bottle mix ½ cup 3% hydrogen peroxide solution and 1 cup of water and spray on the problem areas. Let dry, then wipe down the area. Note: hydrogen peroxide loses its potency when exposed to air so buy a small bottle and discard after use.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

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Animal Jokes :: #626 By Neil from Des Moines IA Unknown A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a meal. After eating he pulls out a gun, shoots the place to the ground, and runs away. Quickly the bartender runs after him yelling, "HEY YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!!" The panda turns around and yells "Yes I can. Look me up in the encyclopedia!" So, the bartender looks up "Panda" in the encyclopedia, and it reads "Panda: increasingly rare species of bear that can be found in the eastern part of Asia. It eats shoots and leaves." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Investment :: #3775 By WALT HASKINS from Lahaina, Hawaii USA. THE HIGH PRICE OF ADMISSION Freedom is a wonderful thing to have guaranteed in our laws; however, many freedoms are meaningless unless one has first acquired the economic means to exercise them.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

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Idiots Jokes :: #19137 By aye from USA. Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape? A: "BREATHE YOU IDIOT, BREATHE!" Forward this joke to your friends >>   One-Liners :: #617 By CHANCE from CORBIN USA. HATING DON'T HATE THE PLAYER, HATE THE GAME     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

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Lawyer Jokes :: #215 By Dede Molter from USA. An elderly man, 82, just returned from the doctors only to find he didn't have long to live. So he summoned the three most important people in his life to tell them of his fate: 1. His Doctor 2. His Priest 3. His Lawyer. He said, "Well, today I found out I don't have long to live. So, I have summoned you three here, because you are the most important people in my life, and I need to ask a favor. Today, I am going to give each of you an envelope with $50,000 dollars inside. When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money into my grave." After the man passed on, the three people happened to run into each other. The doctor said, "I have to admit I kept $10,000 dollars of his money. He owed me from lots of medical bills. But, I threw the other $40,000 in like he requested. "The Priest said, "I have to admit also, I kept $25,000 dollars for the church. It's all going to a good cause. I did, however, throw the other $25,000 in the grave." Well the Lawyer just couldn't believe what he was hearing! "I am surprised at you two for taking advantage of him like that. I wrote a check for the full amount and threw it all in!!!" Forward this joke to your friends >>   Miscellaneous :: #2668 By Adil Memon from Hyderabad Pakistan The World As You See It The world is just as you see it. It's beautiful for those who look at its positive aspects and a real hazard for those who think about its negative side. Always think positively...     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

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Idiots Jokes :: #12266 By annoynomous from Singapore A father and son went deep-sea fishing. Out at sea, the father sees his son drilling a hole in the boat, when asked what he was doing, the son replied, "there's water coming into the boat, so I made a another hole for it to escape." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Interpersonal Skills :: #1706 By Joey from USA. Golden Rules Live every day as if it were your last. Do every job as if you were the boss. Drive as if all other vehicles were police cars. Treat everybody else as if he were you.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

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Animal Jokes :: #21245 By nick1279 from Greece A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen." "Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Words of Knowledge :: #2312 By vicki horotn from deerfeild USA. A Father's gift The greatest gift a man can give his children is to love their mother.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

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Family Jokes :: #6466 By Anna from United States Minor Outlying Islands Chris had just turned 16 had long hair, and look like Joe Dirt. He went to his dad and asked: "Dad it is my 16th birthday! I would like you to by me a car for my birthday." So his dad replied, "Son, I will buy you any car that you want as long as you raise your grades AND cut your hair." Chris said ok. The next week, Chris brought home a report card he had raised all his grades from c's and d's to all a's. His father was very happy! Now Chris was so excited he told his dad what car he wanted a, convertible mustang (red). His dad said, "Chris you haven't cut your hair." Chris replied, "Well Jesus had long hair." His dad said, "yeah, and Jesus walked everywhere he went!" Forward this joke to your friends >>   Miscellaneous :: #2654 By R.RAMACHANDRA RAO from HYDERABAD India Abundance The two most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity - Harlam Ellison -     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

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Doctors Jokes :: #17125 By Jim from USA. While getting a checkup, a man tells his doctor that he thinks his wife is losing her hearing. The doctor says, "You should do a simple test. Stand about 15 feet behind your wife and say 'honey?' Move 3 feet closer and do it again. Keep moving 3 feet closer until she finally responds." Remember how close you were when she gives you an answer. That will help me know how bad her hearing loss is. About a month later the same guy is at the doctor again and the doctor asks, "Well, did you do that experiment with your wife's hearing?" The man says "yes". "How close did you get before she answered?" "Well, by the time I got about 3 feet away she just turned around and said "For the FIFTH TIME... WHAT???" Forward this joke to your friends >>   Internet and Computing :: #767 By Bill from USA. Planning your own website! Free vs. paid web hosting? Choosing your web host is probably the most important part of setting up a web site. If you're planning to sell anything from your site, you should never use free hosting. What few dollars you may save in reduced cost, will come back at you in lost incomes. Not only are most free hosting companies very slow, but they also insist on advertising on your site. Sometimes even with a popup new browser window which takes seemingly forever to load. For the average personal web site which doesn't sell anything, one of these low-quality hosts may be sufficient.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

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Police Jokes :: #13351 By Anonymous from USA. A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car? Asked the officer. "I use them in my juggling act," says the juggler. "Oh yeah?" "Let's see you do it." Says the policeman. So the man starts tossing and juggling the knives. A guy driving by sees this and says, "Wow, am I glad I stopped Drinking. Look at the test they're making you do now!" Forward this joke to your friends >>   Safety :: #27 By Dan Greenhill from Middlebury USA. Rear seat seatbelt use can save your life as a driver! Even if you're riding in the front seat and wearing your seatbelt you can avoid having rear seat passengers becoming projectiles by having them wear their seatbelts. A recent study revealed that wearing a seatbelt in the backseat of a car could dramatically reduce the risk of death and injury to front-seat occupants. In a review of over 100,000 automobile accidents, researchers concluded that the use of seatbelts in the backseats could have reduced fatal injuries to front-seat occupants by as much as 80%.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

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One Liners Jokes :: #3593 By douglas mattushek from duban KZN South Africa Q. What did the fish say when it swam into the wall? A. Dam! Forward this joke to your friends >>   One-Liners :: #117 By janette barbara from dallas , north carolina USA. How old are you ? I am still young enough to play the game, but old enough to know the score!     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com