Sunday, September 5, 2010

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

aJokeADay.com - A Joke A Day
 
The Joke of The Day
Men Vs. Women Jokes :: #3878
By Steven from New Zealand

MAN:

1) Pull up to machine

2) Wind window down

3) Insert ATM card, enter PIN

4) Retrieve cash

5) Drive away

WOMAN:

1) Pull up to machine

2) Open door (too far away from machine)

3) Search through all of the 112 compartments in handbag for ATM card

4) Do make up, apply lipstick, fix hair

5) Insert Card

6) Remove card

7) Insert card the correct way up

8) Search for piece of paper with PIN on it

9) Enter PIN

10) Enter correct PIN

11) Retrieve cash, put in bag

12) Drive off

13) Reverse back to machine

14) Retrieve card

15) Drive three miles away

16) Release hand-brake




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  Comedy Comes Clean 5 Stars   Comedy Comes Clean
A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!
 
 
The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
One-Liners :: #407
By Jess Albright & Amber Elliott from Lancaster, Pa USA.

Loving Him
If the only way I could be with you is in my dreams then I will sleep forever!

 
 
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aJokeADay.com

WeeklyJokes.com #65

Hi :),

Here is this week's joke from WeeklyJokes.com.


Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.

You're going to love this... NASA responded with a one-line memo --

"Defrost the chicken."

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