Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Clean Joke of the Day

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Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

A friend of mine heard this on a pre-flight announcement
from an American Airlines pilot: "On our flight today, we
will be flying at 34,000 feet. To give you an idea of how
high that is, we would be able to fly over 50 Empire State
buildings stacked one on top the other.

"Our speed will be about 500 miles per hour. That is just
over the muzzle velocity of the standard military .45 pistol."

"We will be pushed along by two Pratt and Whitney JT-8D-200
turbofan engines. While thrust to horsepower varies with
altitude, the total 40,000 pounds of thrust is greater than
the combined power of 10 D-9 diesel locomotives."

"In other words, we're faster than a speeding bullet, more
powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings
in a single bound, and as always, your Dallas based crew
stands for truth, justice, and the AMERICAN way!"
----------------------------------------------------------

What do you stand for?

So then, brethren, we are not children of the bondwoman, but
of the free. Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith
Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with
the yoke of bondage. -Galatians 4:31

Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be
strong. Let all your things be done with charity.
-1 Corinthians 16:13

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

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Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
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The Joke of The Day
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By Jacob M from Woodstock ON Canada

History Teacher: "Why was George Washington standing in the bow of the boat as the army crossed the Delaware?"

Student: "Because he knew if he sat down, he would have to row."




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What is stress?
Stress is to refuse to accept a circumstance in your life for which you have no control, stress is measure by the amount of energy that you invest resisting those circumstances. Stress is to waste energy attempting with your thoughts and feelings to change a person, an event or a circumstance surrounding you. The trick to avoid stress is to realize that no amount of effort can ever change the circumstances while they are happening to you, no matter how bad, do not oppose the moment instead, accept and feel what is occurring.



 
 
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