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Military Jokes :: #260
By Mark O. from Unknown
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram. Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."
Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"
"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram. Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up. Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward -- NOT SO FAST, McGRATH!"
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Safety :: #6316
By Piry from Barrington Hills, IL USA.
Chewing gum could make you a better driver
Chewing gum could make you a better driver
Consider popping a stick of gum in your mouth before getting behind the wheel. Japanese researcher suggests that doing so could help keep you safe. When scientists asked people to press buttons in response to cues on a screen, those who were chewing gum reacted up to 9% or 45 milliseconds faster than those who weren't.
The reason: Chewing stimulates the frontal cortex (the area of the brain that governs attention), prepping you for speedy reactions, so you'll be able to tap that brakes faster in an emergency.
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