 | | | 
One Liners Jokes :: #21317
By your mom from USA.
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last; thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
Forward this joke to your friends >>
| | | 
Meditation :: #8
By Dante Monteverde from Chicago USA.
Self hypnosis promises the most as a meditation tool!
Meditation is considered as one of the best ways to reduce stress, lower your blood pressure and increase longevity. While there are several ways to use meditation as a relaxation method, self-hypnosis gives you the additional benefit of temporary behavior modification. Contrary to what you might imagine, self-hypnosis is a very simple procedure that you can learn very quickly and only requires a few days of practice to master. This is what you do in a few easy steps:
Select a comfortable position like sitting, lying down, etc, away from all distractions for at least 10 minutes.
Close your eyes and concentrate on relaxing your entire body from one end to the other.
Start at your feet, feel your toes and feet relaxing, keep repeating rhythmically to yourself the words "relax, relax" as a mantra as you feel a warm tingling sensation in each muscle in your body. Whatever happens just relax, anything you do is a plus, we are not looking for perfection, each time you do this it gets easier. Feel your feet totally relaxed, keep your thoughts focused on relaxing the part of the body you're working on. Experience the calming down effect of letting go of all tension.
Travel up to your legs concentrating in your principal muscles, ankles, calves, knees, thighs, hamstrings, torso, abdominals, your chest, back, hands, arms, head and face. Feel pleasure as each part of your body is rid of tension. Undergo the transformation from tightness to looseness.
When you reach your chest pay particular attention toward your breathe, making sure to take deep breathes, inhaling and exhaling to a totally relaxing pace. Let go of all tensions feel the tightness disappearing from your back and shoulders, come into contact with the feeling of relaxation in each part of your body as your travel through it. Include your face muscles and your neck, following a sequence to include the entire body.
After covering all your main body parts independently go around your body a second time now at a faster pace while concentrating in larger portions of your body feeling your entire feet and legs completely relaxed. Feel the gentle warmth traveling your entire body, keep your thoughts in this sensation, still repeating to yourself to relax. As you approach your chest area go through the breathing cycle.
Once you accomplish a state of deep relaxation where your thoughts are away from your usual routine and into your body you may select to give yourself a suggestion at this point. You are in a very susceptible state, you may repeat to yourself: I will come out of my self-hypnotic state full of energy ready to do my project X with enthusiasm. Or you may say to yourself: whenever I experience anger I will feel love and trust for myself or others and I will react with compassion. I will have a strong desire to forgive myself and others. Repeat these or other suggestions several times during your hypnotic condition. Do not attempt to make multiple suggestions in the same session.
Try it now, do it today, you will see instant results; just don't expect miracles only improvements. Develop a routine to meditate once or twice a day. Remember, the more you do it the easier it becomes. In a few weeks you will be able to relax under the worst types of conditions and very quickly. Meditation as part of a strategy to take care of your emotional health and well-being can add decades to your life and will greatly improve your ability to relax and concentrate. Additionally, self-hypnosis in particular will take advantage of the power of suggestion in practically any area of your life where you can use a little help.
| | | | |
aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com
999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018
1995-2011 © All rights reserved.
Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com
| | |  |
