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Miscellaneous Jokes :: #1040
By ayman from Zarqa Jordan Unknown
Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and went on his way. One day, Merv decided to invest his money in a small, but growing telecom business called Plexus Communications. After weeks of negotiations, he bought the company outright. But, after signing on the dotted line, he realized that he knew nothing about running such a business and quickly set out to hire someone who could do that for him.
The next day he had set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to and was very interesting. At the end of the interview, Merv asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" And the gentleman answered, "Why yes, I couldn't help but notice you have no ears." Merv got very angry and threw him out.
The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. He asked her the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?" and she replied: "Well, you have no ears." Merv again was upset and tossed her out.
The third and last interview was the best of all three. It was with a very young man who was fresh out of college. He was smart. He was handsome. And he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. Merv was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" And to his surprise, the young man answered: "Yes. You wear contact lenses."
Merv was shocked, and said, "What an incredibly observant young man. How in the world did you know that?"
The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no ears!"
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Security :: #4845
By Anonymous from USA.
Identity Theft Advise
Here is some advice from the Theft Resource Center to help keep a lock on your identity during the holiday season.
Use a Credit Card, not a debit card, to make purchases. It's easier to get a fraudulent credit card charge erased than it is to get a bank to restore funds to your bank account.
Carry one credit card; leave the rest home "It's easier to close one credit card than it is to close six, and it's less damaging in the long run"
Be aware of your surroundings. If you're opening a new credit account, don't do it at a register or counter where strangers can overhear you or the clerk talking about your information.
Watch for people looking at your credit card as it's being passed to or from the clerk.
Watch your card every moment that the clerk has it so it's not "skimmed" by a dishonest store employee.
Put your credit receipt in your wallet or purse, not in the bag with the item.
- Most credit card receipts are truncated, but the last thing you want is somebody to do a quick drip (in your bag), and they've got it. -
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