Tuesday, January 28, 2014

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

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The Joke of The Day
Teachers Jokes :: #373
By DeDee Ludwig from Unknown

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students:

"The female dormitory is out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. The second time you will be fined $60. A third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

A male student inquired, "How much for a season pass?"



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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Breaking your Addictions :: #6149
By Emmanuel FOFUNG from Yaoundé Cameroon

On how to stop smoking
I knew it was not going to be easy quitting that smoking habit! In fact, instead of bringing those who hated to see me smoke into helping me stop; I brought them to understand that 'I smoke when I was either having a case of the blues or when I was a bit drunk.' On one of my birthdays, I told my wife I didn't want a gift but I would offer her one myself. "And just what is that gift?" she smiled scornfully.

"I am going to quit smoking and that is my gift", I said. "Then just don't tell me! Tell all your friends with whom you go beer-swilling and I pray God should hear you," she said with a shrug.

I went ahead and told all my friends. Most of them laughed and some wished me luck, now I had just gotten myself into trouble! "Now if I had the urge to smoke I had to hide in order to avoid my friend's remarks regarding the empty promise I would make every birthday." One morning as I was brushing my nicotine stained teeth and thinking my wife was nowhere near me, I shouted to myself 'I really have to stop this nonsense!!' She popped her head through the bathroom door and asked: 'did you say something, honey?' "No!" I said and that was the day I stopped.

Thanks,

Emmanuel Fofung



 
 
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