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Question / Answer Jokes :: #19018 By Susan Sheppard from New Milford Ct USA. Q: How do you know you should not be driving because you have had too much to drink? A: When you swerve to hit a tree and then realize that it was only your car air freshener hanging from your rear view mirror! Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Comedy Comes Clean A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!     Famous quote :: #51 By Peter Prestipino from Chicago USA. QUOTE: Success, Emerson "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success." -Ralph Waldo Emerson     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

WeeklyJokes.com #24

Hi :),

Here is this week's joke from WeeklyJokes.com.

The Washington Post ran a contest awhile back and asked their readers to take a word from the dictionary, alter it by subtracting or changing one letter and then supply a new definition. Here are some of the winners!

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray painted very high on walls.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.

Hipatitus: Terminal coolness.

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Here is a collection of Church Bulletin Bloopers:

1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

2. Conference. "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals".

3. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

4. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands".

5. Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowler. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

6. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

7. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

8. The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water'. The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus'.

9. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

10. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

11. The "Over 60's Choir" will be disbanded for the summer with thanks.

12. The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

13. Remember in prayer those who are sick of our church and community.

14. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a terrible experience".

And now I would like to invite you to claim your instant
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From Jim Oliver (author and Marketing Coach)
& TheAskMarketingSystem

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What is your biggest question concerning Golden Retrievers?

http://www.MyGoldenRetrieverSecrets.com

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