WeeklyJokes.com #4

Hi :),

Here is this week's joke from WeeklyJokes.com:

1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat.
7. Plagiarism saves time.
8. TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
9. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
10. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
11. We waste time, so you don't have to.
12. Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
13. INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
14. Succeed in spite of management.
15. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

And now I would like to invite you to claim your instant
free access to the "Ask Don't Tell Marketing
Secrets Guide" by going to
http://www.TheAskMarketingSystem.com

You'll get a 54-page Guide (in PDF format) that gives
you the secrets to ask-based marketing and shows you
how to take the guesswork out of marketing your business.

While you're there, tell us what's the biggest challenge
you have marketing your business.

From Jim Oliver (author and Marketing Coach)
& TheAskMarketingSystem

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What is your biggest question concerning Golden Retrievers?

http://www.MyGoldenRetrieverSecrets.com

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Is someone's snoring keeping you up at night?
If so, you're not alone.

http://www.quitsnoring.com

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Clean Joke of the Day

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Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

A friend of mine heard this on a pre-flight announcement
from an American Airlines pilot: "On our flight today, we
will be flying at 34,000 feet. To give you an idea of how
high that is, we would be able to fly over 50 Empire State
buildings stacked one on top the other.

"Our speed will be about 500 miles per hour. That is just
over the muzzle velocity of the standard military .45 pistol."

"We will be pushed along by two Pratt and Whitney JT-8D-200
turbofan engines. While thrust to horsepower varies with
altitude, the total 40,000 pounds of thrust is greater than
the combined power of 10 D-9 diesel locomotives."

"In other words, we're faster than a speeding bullet, more
powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings
in a single bound, and as always, your Dallas based crew
stands for truth, justice, and the AMERICAN way!"
----------------------------------------------------------

What do you stand for?

So then, brethren, we are not children of the bondwoman, but
of the free. Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith
Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with
the yoke of bondage. -Galatians 4:31

Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be
strong. Let all your things be done with charity.
-1 Corinthians 16:13

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

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A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Miscellaneous Jokes :: #16828 By from USA. The driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who panicked whenever another car approached on a particular two-lane road. One day, however, they got to the same stretch of road; and the student remained completely calm. "This time you're doing fine!" exclaimed the instructor. "Yes," the novice driver agreed. "Now when I see another car coming, I shut my eyes." Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Comedy Comes Clean A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!     Health tips :: #5865 By Anonymous from USA. A New danger to Kidneys. A study suggests a link between soda consumption and kidney disease. Researchers at Loyola University in Chicago found that women of normal weight who drink two or more cans of soda a day are nearly twice as likely to show early signs of chronic kidney disease (CKD). The same effect was not found in men or in people who drink diet soda. The authors looked at data from more than 9000 adults. They suggest that the culprit may be the high-fructose corn syrup in many sodas. Others believe the phosphorus found in some sodas could be the problem In the last decade, cases of chronic kidney disease (CKD) in the U.S. have increased by 30%. An estimated 26 million Americans are affected, according to the National Kidney Foundation. The Kidneys – two bean-shaped structures found just below the ribs in your back – filter blood and excrete harmful chemicals. Kidney damage reduces the body's ability to get rid of waste and affects blood pressure, bone strength, and blood production. Even low levels of kidney disease contribute to heart failure, arterial disease, and strokes. The leading risk factors for CKD are diabetes and high blood pressure, followed by weight gain and smoking. - Stay Healthy by Dr. Ranit Mishori -     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com