Clean Joke of the Day

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************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

One night my father woke himself up with a loud "Hello!" to
someone in his dream. As the next day came and went, he
thought the nocturnal outburst was his alone to remember.

But that night, as he and Mom were getting ready for bed,
she said dryly, "If you see anyone you know tonight, just
wave."
-----------------------------------------------------------

Today is a wonderful opportunity to be friendly to everyone
around you!

For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do
not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your
brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the
publicans so?

Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in
heaven is perfect. -Matthew 5:46

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
http://www.clean-joke-of-the-day.net/mail/rem.php?u=0e71ea7
or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com

P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Entertainment Jokes :: #20826 By Anonymous from USA. Years ago someone in California hollered "Gold," and people drove from all directions. That's the way they still drive in California. Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Comedy Comes Clean A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!     Self-Improvement :: #5772 By RoAnn from Tonopah USA. Racism I must have been raised right as I am not racist at all. This includes judging people by color, race, religion, size or any other way people choose to judge someone. As a matter of fact I live to the tune of I will be friends with anyone as long as they don't try to take advantage of me. Also, stop and think, if the whole world went blind for 30 days, you may be surprised who you had made friends with when your eyesight came back!!!     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

About Web Humor: Probably Bad News, Crazy Kittens and a Small Horse

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Web Humor Web Humor Viral Videos Pictures & Comics Blogs From Lukas Kaiser, your Guide to Web Humor Hey folks -- how are ya'? Can I get you a drink? That's a trick question -- of course I can't... I'm communicating with you via newsletter, not via real life conversation. Ha! Real life conversations. Remember those? What were we thinking?! Probably Bad News Do you enjoy it when newspapers, TV shows and other news outlets (i.e. telegrams) screw up, print typos, misprints and bizarre headlines? But do you also have an irrational (or completely rational) fear of Jay Leno and hence refuse to watch his "Headlines" segment, Monday nights on The Tonight Show? (Did I just give Jay Leno a plug?) Then the website Probably Bad News is for you. It's all the funny with 80% less chin. 10 Interesting Cat Tales Pun not intended. Cats are serious business. Look at This Small Horse! It's smaller than a baby! What's going on, science?! Funny Websites Profiles on the funniest, laugh inducing comedy Websites on the Internet, from breakdowns of fake news sites like The Onion and Fark to viral video and sketch comedy sites like College Humor. Web Humor Ads Humor India Bad News Horse Crazy Humor I Dowcipy Humor Shqip 1 Featured Articles Viral Videos Best of the Best Web Comics Stupid But Funny Blogs, Tweets & Emails Holiday Humor   More from About.com Disney Trip Planner Everything you need to plan the perfect Disney vacation -- from when to go and what to do, to saving money and picking a hotel. More > Join About.com's User Panel! Share your opinions and help us make About.com more relevant, informative and enjoyable to use. More> This newsletter is written by: Lukas Kaiser Web Humor Guide Email Me | My Blog | My Forum   Sign up for more free newsletters on your favorite topics You are receiving this newsletter because you subscribed to the About Web Humor newsletter. If you wish to change your email address or unsubscribe, please click here. About respects your privacy: Our Privacy Policy Contact Information: 249 West 17th Street New York, NY, 10011 © 2010 About.com   Must Reads What Is a Viral Video? The Top 20 Viral Videos The 20 Funniest Celebrities on Twitter The Best Super Bowl Ads 2010 The 20 Funniest Webcomics Advertisement

Clean Joke of the Day

If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

Before their daughter went off to college, Brianna's family
took a vacation in Colorado, flying to Denver and renting a
car. During their tours they visited the Royal Gorge Bridge,
which is more than 1000 feet above the Arkansas River.

Walking out onto the bridge, Brianna's father noticed the
bridge was swaying in the wind. Then, while he was standing
on the bridge, a car drove past, causing the wood-plank
roadway to move beneath his feet.

Rapidly loosing confidence in the safety of the bridge, he
said finally voiced his fears. "I don't think I want to
drive the car across this bridge."

"What are you worried about?" Brianna replied. "It's just a
rental."
-----------------------------------------------------------

What purposes are worth you risking your life?

And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought
against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,
and prevailed not; neither was their place found any more
in heaven.

And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called
the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he
was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out
with him.

And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come
salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the
power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast
down, which accused them before our God day and night.

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the
word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto
the death. -Revelation 12:7

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
http://www.clean-joke-of-the-day.net/mail/rem.php?u=0e71ea7
or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com

P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Kid Jokes :: #19600 By Anonymous from USA. Billy and John were given a toboggan for their birthday. After they had been out playing in the snow, Billy was in tears. "Now, John," said his father, "I told you to let Billy use the toboggan half the time." "And I did," said Billy; "I had it going down, and he had it going up." Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Comedy Comes Clean A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!     Words of Knowledge :: #3613 By R.RAMACHANDRA RAO from HYDERABAD India Happiness Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response -MICHAEL BARTEL-     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

Clean Joke of the Day

If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

I have been told there is a pretzel stand out front of an
office building in New York. One day a man came out of the
building, planted down a quarter on the counter of the
pretzel stand, and then went on his way without taking a
pretzel. This happened every day for three weeks.

Finally, the lady running the stand spoke up. "Sir, excuse
me. May I have a word with you?"

"I know what you're going to say," the man replied. "You're
going to ask me why I give you a quarter every day and don't
take a pretzel."

Looking confused, the woman said, "Not at all. I just want to
tell you the price is now 35 cents."
-----------------------------------------------------------

How much gratefulness do you show toward God for his daily
unmerited gifts to you?

O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good:
for his mercy endureth for ever.

O give thanks unto the God of gods:
for his mercy endureth for ever.

O give thanks to the Lord of lords:
for his mercy endureth for ever.

To him who alone doeth great wonders:
for his mercy endureth for ever.

To him that by wisdom made the heavens:
for his mercy endureth for ever.

To him that stretched out the earth above the waters:
for his mercy endureth for ever.

To him that made great lights:
for his mercy endureth for ever:

The sun to rule by day:
for his mercy endureth for ever:

The moon and stars to rule by night:
for his mercy endureth for ever.

To him that smote Egypt in their firstborn:
for his mercy endureth for ever:

And brought out Israel from among them:
for his mercy endureth for ever:

With a strong hand, and with a stretched out arm:
for his mercy endureth for ever.

To him which divided the Red sea into parts:
for his mercy endureth for ever:

And made Israel to pass through the midst of it:
for his mercy endureth for ever:

But overthrew Pharaoh and his host in the Red sea:
for his mercy endureth for ever.

To him which led his people through the wilderness:
for his mercy endureth for ever.

To him which smote great kings:
for his mercy endureth for ever:

And slew famous kings:
for his mercy endureth for ever:

Sihon king of the Amorites:
for his mercy endureth for ever:

And Og the king of Bashan:
for his mercy endureth for ever:

And gave their land for an heritage:
for his mercy endureth for ever:

Even an heritage unto Israel his servant:
for his mercy endureth for ever.

Who remembered us in our low estate:
for his mercy endureth for ever:

And hath redeemed us from our enemies:
for his mercy endureth for ever.

Who giveth food to all flesh:
for his mercy endureth for ever.

O give thanks unto the God of heaven:
for his mercy endureth for ever. -Psalms 136:1

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
http://www.clean-joke-of-the-day.net/mail/rem.php?u=0e71ea7
or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com

P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Doctors Jokes :: #20040 By Anonymous from USA. You see, Doctor, "I'm always dizzy for half an hour after I get up in the morning," said Carla. "Well, try getting up half an hour later," said the doctor. Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Comedy Comes Clean A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!     Famous Quote :: #51 By Peter Prestipino from Chicago USA. QUOTE: Success, Emerson "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success." -Ralph Waldo Emerson     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

Clean Joke of the Day

If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

I once heard of a young student, attending a preaching
school, who went home for Christmas break. A horrible
snowstorm stranded the regular minister from being able to
make the trip back to the pulpit from traveling out of
town on vacation. The leaders of the congregation asked the
young man to substitute for the regular minister.

The young preacher started his sermon by explaining the
meaning of a substitute. "If you break a window," he said,
"and then place a piece of plywood over the hole... that's a
substitute."

After the sermon, a well-intentioned woman wished to
compliment the young man. As she enthusiastically shook his
hand she said, "You were no substitute. You were a real
pane!"
-----------------------------------------------------------

And I, brethren, when I came to you, came not with
excellency of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto you the
testimony of God. For I determined not to know any thing
among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.

And I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much
trembling. And my speech and my preaching was not with
enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the
Spirit and of power: that your faith should not stand in the
wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

Howbeit we speak wisdom among them that are perfect: yet not
the wisdom of this world, nor of the princes of this world,
that come to nought: but we speak the wisdom of God in a
mystery, even the hidden wisdom, which God ordained before
the world unto our glory: Which none of the princes of this
world knew: for had they known it, they would not have
crucified the Lord of glory.

But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard,
neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which
God hath prepared for them that love him. But God hath
revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit
searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.

For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of
man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no
man, but the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the
spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we
might know the things that are freely given to us of God.

Which things also we speak, not in the words which man's
wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth;
comparing spiritual things with spiritual. But the natural
man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they
are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because
they are spiritually discerned.

But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself
is judged of no man. For who hath known the mind of the Lord,
that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.
-1 Corinthians 2:1

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
http://www.clean-joke-of-the-day.net/mail/rem.php?u=0e71ea7
or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com

P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Teachers Jokes :: #20858 By Anonymous from USA. The teacher wrote on the blackboard, "I ain't had no fun all summer." "Now Paul," she said. "What shall I do to correct this?" "Get a boy friend." Paul replied. Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Comedy Comes Clean A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!     Famous Quote :: #51 By Peter Prestipino from Chicago USA. QUOTE: Success, Emerson "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success." -Ralph Waldo Emerson     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

Clean Joke of the Day

If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

Today's humor was submitted by Dane Meckler...

A guy entered the cafe to place an order for food.

"I want 3 flat tires & a pair of headlights."

The waitress didn't have a clue about what he wanted, but
not desiring to appear stupid she decided to go to the
kitchen & ask the cook.

"This guy out there just ordered 3 flat tires & a pair of
headlights," she said. "What is he thinking? Does this look
like an auto parts store?"

"No" the cook replied, "3 flat tires means 3 pancakes, and a
pair of headlights is 2 eggs sunny side up."

"Oh, I get it," the waitress said. Soon the waitress appears
in front of the customer with a bowl of beans.

"What are the beans for?" the customer asked.

The waitress replied, "I thought while you were waiting for
the flat tires & headlights you might want to gas up."
-----------------------------------------------------------

There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat
and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in
his labour. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of
God.

For who can eat, or who else can hasten hereunto, more than
I? For God giveth to a man that is good in his sight wisdom,
and knowledge, and joy: but to the sinner he giveth travail,
to gather and to heap up, that he may give to him that is
good before God. This also is vanity and vexation of spirit.
-Ecclesiastes 2:24

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
http://www.clean-joke-of-the-day.net/mail/rem.php?u=0e71ea7
or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com

P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Elderly Jokes :: #110 By from Unknown Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem? "Ma'am," the officer replies, you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers. Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-two miles an hour! "The old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time, "the officer asks. Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119." Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Comedy Comes Clean A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!     Music :: #4547 By Anonymous from USA. Clear away scratches on CDs. For smudges and scratches on discs, non-gel toothpaste will do the trick. Just rube a little on, then remove it with a damp cloth. It may leave a few tiny scratches on the surface, but they won't affect the sound.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com