A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Elderly Jokes :: #20032 By Jeff Knowles from La Habra Ca USA. Three old ladies sit in a diner, discussing their health. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down." The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to sleep or had just woken up!" The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory is just as good as it's always been, knock on wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Comedy Comes Clean A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!     One Liners tips :: #1160 By mishka from may pen Jamaica Anger Never make a decision when you are angry, you might regret it in the future.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

WeeklyJokes.com #19

Hi :),

Here is this week's joke from WeeklyJokes.com.

BEFORE AND AFTER YOU FALL IN LOVE

Before - You take my breath away
After - I feel like I'm suffocating

Before - Twice a night
After - Twice a month

Before - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation
After - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

Before - Saturday Night Fever
After - Monday Night Football

Before - Don't stop
After - Don't start

Before - Is that all you're having?
After - Maybe you should have just a salad, honey

Before - It's like I'm living in a dream
After - It's like he lives in a dorm

Before - $60/doz.
After - $1.50/stem

Before - Turbocharged
After - Jumpstart

Before - We agree on everything
After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

Before - Victoria's Secret
After - Fruit-of-the-Loom

Before - Charming and Noble
After - Chernobyl

Before - Feathers and handcuffs
After - Ball and chain

Before - Idol
After - Idle

Before - I love a woman with curves
After - I never said you were fat

Before - He's completely lost without me
After - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

Before - Time stood still
After - This relationship is going nowhere

Before - Croissant and cappuccino
After - Bagel and instant

Before - You look so seductive in black
After - Your clothes are so depressing

Before - Oysters
After - Fishsticks

Before - I can hardly believe we found each other
After - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

Before - Passion
After - Ration

Before - Once upon a time
After - The end

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