Clean Joke of the Day

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Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

Two partners in the garment industry had just suffered
through their worst season ever. Ten thousand madras sports
coats were hanging on the rack unsold, and bankruptcy was
looming closer.

Completely out of the blue, a buyer walked in from Australia.
"I say there," he began, "you boys wouldn't have any madras
sports coats, would you? I've been looking for them
everywhere."

The first partner, hardly containing his eagerness to sell
the coats, mentioned that there MIGHT be a few left. Soon a
deal was made and the ten thousand jackets were scheduled to
be shipped to Australia at a handsome profit.

"There is one thing though," the Australian buyer said. "For
an order this large I'll have to get confirmation from my
home office. I don't anticipate any problem, and unless I
send you a telegram by this Friday, the deal goes through as
planned."

Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday passed slowly, with the
partners nervously waiting to see if the Australian would
change his mind. Friday morning also went by without
incident.

The partners were just closing up shop when there was a
knock on the door.

"Telegram!" came the voice outside.

The partners froze. Trembling, the first partner grabbed the
telegram and tore it open. Suddenly, his face lit up. Turning
to the other partner, he heaved a sigh of relief. "GREAT
NEWS! Your sister just died!"
-----------------------------------------------------------

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for
there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in
the grave, whither thou goest.

I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to
the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread
to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet
favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to
them all.

For man also knoweth not his time: as the fishes that are
taken in an evil net, and as the birds that are caught in
the snare; so are the sons of men snared in an evil time,
when it falleth suddenly upon them. This wisdom have I seen
also under the sun, and it seemed great unto me: There was a
little city, and few men within it; and there came a great
king against it, and besieged it, and built great bulwarks
against it.

Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his
wisdom delivered the city; yet no man remembered that same
poor man. Then said I, Wisdom is better than strength:
nevertheless the poor man's wisdom is despised, and his
words are not heard.

The words of wise men are heard in quiet more than the cry
of him that ruleth among fools. Wisdom is better than
weapons of war: but one sinner destroyeth much good.
-Ecclesiastes 9:10

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

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Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
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A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Work Jokes :: #4929 By pirjo hokkanen from USA. SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. PERSONAL DAYS: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday. VACATION DAYS: All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25 BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough. OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement. RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open. LUNCH BREAK: Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain the average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Sondra gets none. DRESS CODE: It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week. -- Management Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Comedy Comes Clean A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!     Love Quotes :: #546 By Frank H. from Central Islip USA. Set it free If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com