WeeklyJokes.com #27

Hi :),

Here is this week's joke from WeeklyJokes.com.

BEST T-SHIRTS

So Many Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me

God Made Us Sisters; Prozac Made Us Friends

If They Don't Have Chocolate in Heaven, I Ain't Going.

At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All. I Just Can't Remember It All

My Mother Is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips

(Spotted at a gay pride parade): My Son Just Came Out of the Closet and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt.

(Spotted on Cape Cod): If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt: Them?

Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount

What If the Hokey Pokey Really IS What It's All About?

Coffee, Chocolate, Men . . . Some Things Are Just Better Rich

Growing Old Is Inevitable; Growing Up Is Optional

Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen

First National Bank of Dad; Sorry, Closed

In Dog Years, I'm Dead

If at First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't for You.

The Trouble With the Gene Pool Is That There's No Lifeguard.

Get a New Car for Your Spouse. It'll Be a Great Trade.

It's Hard to Be Nostalgic When You Can't Remember Anything.

Dinner Is Ready When the Smoke Alarm Goes Off.

Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship.

Anything Not Worth Doing Is Not Worth Doing Well.

A Day Without Sunshine Is Like Night.

A City Is a Large Community Where People Are Lonesome Together.

In America, Anyone Can Be President. That's One of the Risks You Take.

(Around a picture of dandelions) I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won

I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy

I Just Do What The Voices Inside My Head Tell Me To Do

(Worn by a pregnant woman) A Man Did This To Me, Oprah

Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog

No, It Doesn't Hurt (on a "well-tattooed gentleman")

(On the back of a passing motorcyclist) If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off

I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now

(Over the outline of the state of Minnesota) My Governor Can Beat Up Your Governor

Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping.

I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian

(On the Front) Yale Is Just One Big Party (on the back) With a $25,000 Cover Charge

Liberal Arts Major...Will Think For Money

IRS - Be Audit You Can Be

Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law.

If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In the Kitchen

The Old Pro...Often Wrong...Never In Doubt

Old Age Comes at a Bad Time

First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order

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Clean Joke of the Day

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Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

A Sunday school teacher was telling her youngsters about
Daniel and the Lion's Den. To illustrate the lesson she had
a picture of Daniel standing, brave and confident, with a
group of lions around him. Suddenly, one little girl started
to cry.

The teacher said, "Don't cry. The lions are not going to eat
Daniel."

Snubbing back sobs and tears the girl said, "That's not what
I'm crying about. That little lion, over in the corner,
isn't going to get anything to eat."
-----------------------------------------------------------

Then the king commanded, and they brought Daniel, and cast
him into the den of lions. Now the king spake and said unto
Daniel, Thy God whom thou servest continually, he will
deliver thee.

And a stone was brought, and laid upon the mouth of the den;
and the king sealed it with his own signet, and with the
signet of his lords; that the purpose might not be changed
concerning Daniel.

Then the king went to his palace, and passed the night
fasting: neither were instruments of musick brought before
him: and his sleep went from him.

Then the king arose very early in the morning, and went in
haste unto the den of lions. And when he came to the den, he
cried with a lamentable voice unto Daniel: and the king
spake and said to Daniel, O Daniel, servant of the living
God, is thy God, whom thou servest continually, able to
deliver thee from the lions?

Then said Daniel unto the king, O king, live for ever. My
God hath sent his angel, and hath shut the lions' mouths,
that they have not hurt me: forasmuch as before him
innocency was found in me; and also before thee, O king,
have I done no hurt.

Then was the king exceeding glad for him, and commanded that
they should take Daniel up out of the den. So Daniel was
taken up out of the den, and no manner of hurt was found
upon him, because he believed in his God. -Daniel 6:16

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

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A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Miscellaneous Jokes :: #20558 By Pak Spectator from Pakistan There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down. "Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again", says the mechanical engineer. "Well", says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system." "I thought it might be a grounding problem", says the electrical engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug lead." They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and say: "Well, what do you think?" "Ummm perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Comedy Comes Clean A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!     Famous Quote :: #172 By Peter Hughs from Freemont USA. Silence Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. Silence is deep as Eternity; speech is shallow as Time. --Thomas Carlyle     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com