WeeklyJokes.com #3

Hi :),

Here is this week's joke from WeeklyJokes.com.

WORDS OF WISDOM

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

You can't strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

Who gossips to you will gossip of you.

When someone says, "Do you want my opinion?" - it's always a negative one.

The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.

The trouble with work is - it's so daily.

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.

Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people are crazy. Check 3 friends, if they are OK, you're it.

And now I would like to invite you to claim your instant
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While you're there, tell us what's the biggest challenge
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From Jim Oliver (author and Marketing Coach)
& TheAskMarketingSystem

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What is your biggest question concerning Golden Retrievers?

http://www.MyGoldenRetrieverSecrets.com

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Clean Joke of the Day

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Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

Today's humor was submitted by Don Brennan. Thanks Don!

Jill and John worked for an automotive manufacturer. In their
department, they had a very funny and gifted guy. One day he
composed a letter (supposedly from higher management) to be
received and acted upon by lower level managers.

The funny letter looked very official.

It stated: "It has come to our attention that some employees
have actually died at their desks and no one realized it.
The deceased made such little movement while alive that they
were dead but not really that different as they continued to
sit at their desks. It is mandatory that the bosses do a test
to see if anyone has actually died. The boss will wave a
paycheck in the front of the non moving person to see if they
react. This is not always effective, however, because some
people, though dead, have reached out for the check. The plan
is to be implemented with all due haste.
Signed: Upper Management."
-----------------------------------------------------------

He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the
hand of the diligent maketh rich. The hand of the diligent
shall bear rule: but the slothful shall be under tribute.

The slothful man roasteth not that which he took in hunting:
but the substance of a diligent man is precious. The soul of
the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the
diligent shall be made fat.

The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness; but
of every one that is hasty only to want. Seest thou a man
diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he
shall not stand before mean men.

Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look
well to thy herds.
-Proverbs 10:4; 12:24, 27; 13:4; 21:5; 22:29; 27:23

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

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A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Farmer Jokes :: #740 By Anonymous from Unknown An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move. Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond. Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch. The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Comedy Comes Clean A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!     Miscellaneous :: #1666 By Anonymous from USA. Do it now Make "someday" happen today. Use the good china tonight, Wear the good jacket to the market and your good cologne every day.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com