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Microsoft Jokes :: #883
By Arsen Vladimirsky from Chicago IL Unknown
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
Not only that, but....
Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
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Sustainability :: #53
By Monique from Tahoe City USA.
Buying Locally for a Healthier Taste and Conscience
Next time you hit the grocery store, shop around for the best buys that support your own local environment. Check labels and signs of the produce you purchase and make an effort to buy locally grown products. Buying locally means less energy expended to bring food to your table, cutting down on everything from air pollution to the burning of fossil fuels from trucking in cargo. Buying locally also means fresher fruits and vegetables that are healthier for your body and tastier to your taste buds. Fruits and veggies shipped from abroad are usually harvested at least two full weeks before they are ripe so that they don't go rotten during their long voyages on planes and in crates before arriving to your grocer.
By buying from people in your area you're also supporting the local economy and helping to make your home part of a more sustainable community. If products aren't labeled at your grocery store, talk to the management and let them know you would like to know whether the tomatoes your buying were genetically engineered at some factory or whether they were grown under the same bright skies you wake up to in the morning. By buying locally, not only are you bound for a fresher taste but also for a healthier conscience by making simple decisions that go a long way in protecting all of our environments.
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