Monday, May 3, 2010

Clean Joke of the Day

If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

When Jack was employed at his denomination's headquarters,
it was customary for all employees to pause for prayer each
morning at 9:00. A "prayer bell" signaled the beginning and
ending of this daily routine.

Occasionally, though, employees would find themselves on the
phone during prayer time, and the entire office, now quiet,
would overhear their conversation.

One morning during prayer time, a co-worker named Paul could
be heard in the office, shouting, "Hello? Hello? I can hear
you. Can you hear me?"

After the ending bell, I overheard someone else comment, "I
think Paul's having a hard time getting through to the Lord
this morning."
-----------------------------------------------------------

Do you ever have difficulty getting through?

Behold, the LORD'S hand is not shortened, that it cannot
save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear: but your
iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your
sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.

For your hands are defiled with blood, and your fingers with
iniquity; your lips have spoken lies, your tongue hath
muttered perverseness. None calleth for justice, nor any
pleadeth for truth: they trust in vanity, and speak lies;
they conceive mischief, and bring forth iniquity.

They hatch cockatrice' eggs, and weave the spider's web: he
that eateth of their eggs dieth, and that which is crushed
breaketh out into a viper. Their webs shall not become
garments, neither shall they cover themselves with their
works: their works are works of iniquity, and the act of
violence is in their hands.

Their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed innocent
blood: their thoughts are thoughts of iniquity; wasting and
destruction are in their paths. The way of peace they know
not; and there is no judgment in their goings: they have
made them crooked paths: whosoever goeth therein shall not
know peace.

Therefore is judgment far from us, neither doth justice
overtake us: we wait for light, but behold obscurity; for
brightness, but we walk in darkness. We grope for the wall
like the blind, and we grope as if we had no eyes: we
stumble at noonday as in the night; we are in desolate
places as dead men.

We roar all like bears, and mourn sore like doves: we look
for judgment, but there is none; for salvation, but it is
far off from us. For our transgressions are multiplied
before thee, and our sins testify against us: for our
transgressions are with us; and as for our iniquities, we
know them.

In transgressing and lying against the LORD, and departing
away from our God, speaking oppression and revolt,
conceiving and uttering from the heart words of falsehood.

And judgment is turned away backward, and justice standeth
afar off: for truth is fallen in the street, and equity
cannot enter. Yea, truth faileth; and he that departeth from
evil maketh himself a prey: and the LORD saw it, and it
displeased him that there was no judgment. And he saw that
there was no man, and wondered that there was no intercessor:
therefore his arm brought salvation unto him; and his
righteousness, it sustained him.

For he put on righteousness as a breastplate, and an helmet
of salvation upon his head; and he put on the garments of
vengeance for clothing, and was clad with zeal as a cloke.

According to their deeds, accordingly he will repay, fury to
his adversaries, recompence to his enemies; to the islands
he will repay recompence.

So shall they fear the name of the LORD from the west, and
his glory from the rising of the sun. When the enemy shall
come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a
standard against him. And the Redeemer shall come to Zion,
and unto them that turn from transgression in Jacob, saith
the LORD.

As for me, this is my covenant with them, saith the LORD; My
spirit that is upon thee, and my words which I have put in
thy mouth, shall not depart out of thy mouth, nor out of the
mouth of thy seed, nor out of the mouth of thy seed's seed,
saith the LORD, from henceforth and for ever. -Isaiah 59:1

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
http://www.clean-joke-of-the-day.net/mail/rem.php?u=0e71ea7
or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com


P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

aJokeADay.com - A Joke A Day
 
The Joke of The Day
Sport Jokes :: #20671
By Anonymous from USA.

The drunk walking along the country road saw the duck hunter lying in the brush with the gun poised toward the direction of the high-flying flock in the distance. "Shay, mishter," advised the drunk. "Don't waisht a shot. The fall'll kill'em


Forward this joke to your friends >>

 
  * Highly Recommended Book  
 
  Comedy Comes Clean 5 Stars   Comedy Comes Clean
A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!
 
 
The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Childcare :: #638
By chantel from USA.

What do you do when kids keep asking you WHY?
Next time your kid asks you, why? Over and over just ask them, why do you keep asking me why?

 
 
aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com
4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641

1995-2008 © All rights reserved.

Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

 
aJokeADay.com

Blog Archive