Friday, July 24, 2009

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

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The Joke of The Day
Quotes Jokes :: #401
By Nicole Brown from MO USA.

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE

Submitted by Jonalee Echols from Bullard Texas.

1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.

3. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

5. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

6. When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'em tuned up.

7. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

8. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc them to your boss.

9. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

10. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.



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  * Highly Recommended Book  
 
  Comedy Comes Clean 5 Stars   Comedy Comes Clean
A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!
 
 
The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Fitness tips :: #156
By Carrie Roberts from Avon USA.

Hands-free
Studies indicate that holding on to the handrails during exercise may not be the best way to workout. Using the handrails for support means that you burn about 8% fewer calories than when you do not use the handrails. Even light handrail holding lessens the amount of calories burned. Of course, if you need the handrails for balance use them.

 
 
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