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Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!
Here are some VERY good reasons to buy a new car...
A car exactly like yours is featured in a display in your
local museum.
Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic
Places.
Instead of an airbag, there's a whoopee cushion taped to
your steering wheel.
That plaque that says it was the first car ever driven by
land speed record breaker Barney Goldfield.
You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old on a
moped.
As you drive by people keep yelling, "Get a horse."
Your tires are so thin you can see the air inside them.
Your emergency brake consists of putting your leg through a
hole in the floorboard and dragging your foot on the pavement.
Whenever you hit a pothole or speed bump the engine falls out.
The total on your last repair bill equaled the GDP of a
certain small Asian nation.
The 15-Minute Jiffy Lube takes 3 days.
Thieves repeatedly break into your car just to take
"The Club."
When you gas up, the attendant asks "Can I re-duct-tape that
windshield for you?"
Replacement running boards just aren't made like they used
to be made.
Your "Super-Heterodyne radio" keeps drifting off signal.
As you're leaving the parking lot after the County Fair
demolition derby a salvage dealer offers you "50 bucks for
the carcass."
Two words: Ford Edsel
It might have something to do with that second "Totaled"
stamp your insurance adjuster put on the title after your
last fender bender.
Your 84 year old Mom drives a car that's sportier than
yours.
While waiting at a stop light, people run up asking if
anyone was hurt.
For the last five years, you've had to settle for making
"vroom vroom" noises while sitting in the driveway.
You keep losing dates on left turns.
The novelty of that hand crank starter is wearing off.
The Duct tape you used to replace that right front fender is
flagging again.
It hasn't been the same since "The" Henry Ford borrowed it.
Your gas gauge measures in cubits.
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But my God shall supply all your need according to his
riches in glory by Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:19
I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!
Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity
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P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com
Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:
Clean Joke of the Day
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Email: joe@christfocus.com
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Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.
Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
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