A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Police Jokes :: #477 By Walter Smith from Unknown A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go." The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!" "Have a nice weekend," said the officer. Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Comedy Comes Clean A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!     Career Skills :: #70 By Pablo Perez from Chicago USA. Resume Tip Employers make snap judgments when glancing at your resume. If they see unrelated job titles or skills the likelihood is very high that they will make an immediate assumption that you are not qualified for the job you want. Adding to this problem is the fact that employers don't have the time to read through each of your job descriptions to determine if you have the skills they need. You Must Do That For Them! The design of your resume must highlight the most important information about your work experience, skills and education. At first glance this information forms the image that employers have of your skills and abilities.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

WeeklyJokes.com #59

Hi :),

Here is this week's joke from WeeklyJokes.com.

I Nearly "Disappeared" in a Small Southeast Asian Nation

In the 1980's at a large formal event I openly defied and shamed a world renowned and infamous world leader.

As a Peace Corps volunteer in the Philippines, I briefly met Ferdinand Marcos, the "President" (can you say "Dictator"?) of the Philippines, when he was still in power. I intentionally and blatantly refused to shake his hand in public and lived to tell about it. At least that's how I see it.

Well, actually I attended a large conference of Philippine bankers where he was scheduled to give a talk. I had an aisle seat. He walked down the aisle right next to me on his way to the podium. He offered to shake hands as he walked down the aisle.

As a Peace Corps volunteer we were taught to act apolitical otherwise those who oppose your politics (real or perceived) will work against you in any project you are working on. So when the morally corrupt dictator walked by me offering to shake any one and everyone's hands, I played dumb and refused to offer him my hand. A horde of Philippine bankers standing around me quickly seized the opportunity to shake the dictator's hand.

My open act of defiance, my blatant refusal to shake hands with the dictator put me at risk of suddenly becoming a member of the "disappeared". Was I going to be ushered out of the conference by his "staff" right then and there or would they wait until later that night? Only time would tell.

In a way it felt good to be a rebel. It gave my young life meaning.

The only problem was: No one noticed what I did or rather what I didn't do.

They say "perception is reality". I guess in this case "non-perception is also reality". No one saw what I did not do.

Therefore, no one was asked to "disappear" me and I got to live and rebel another day.

- Jim Oliver

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