Here is this week's joke from WeeklyJokes.com.
ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS SEEN ON CARS:
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"I love cats...they taste just like chicken"
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"Cover me! I'm changing lanes."
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools."
"Happiness is a belt-fed weapon"
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"
"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...."
"Montana --- At least our cows are sane!"
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"
"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."
"Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips."
"Friends don't let Friends drive Naked."
"Wink, I'll do the rest!"
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!"
"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
"Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!"
"Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal !"
"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
"He who laughs last thinks slowest"
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy."
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
"I souport publik edekasion"
"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."
"We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
"3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."
"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock."
"I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles."
"I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die. "
"Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off."
"I'm a corporate executive, I keep things from happening."
"If Clinton is the answer, it must have been a stupid question."
Attention Job Seekers:
Do yourself a favor.
Before you send out another job application, make
sure you visit http://www.CleanEnergySecrets.com/jobs.
Because what you know and when you know it can make
the difference between a job application that ends
up in the trash can and a job application that
leads to a job offer.
http://www.CleanEnergySecrets.com/jobs
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Learn how to:
- get the IRS to subsidize any vacation you want to
take, anywhere in the world
- deduct your golf, golf balls, golf clubs, and lessons
- properly document every deduction and make yourself
audit-proof
- structure any activity as a business and not a hobby
- deduct most of your fun such as movies, play, and
season tickets!
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Inspirational Quote
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you
is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
- George Carlin
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