Sunday, November 8, 2009

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

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The Joke of The Day
Bar & Drinking Jokes :: #304
By Mikael Skjodt Sorensen Jol & Pangel A/S from Jæsle Denmark

A guy comes in to a bar and orders a double whiskey. He drinks it and looks in his pocket. Then he orders another one, drinks it and looks in his pocket again.

This is repeated a dozen times before the bartender asks him what he is doing.

He replies, "In my pocket I have a picture of my wife. When she gets good looking, I quit drinking..."



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  * Highly Recommended Book  
 
  Comedy Comes Clean 5 Stars   Comedy Comes Clean
A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!
 
 
The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Famous quote :: #3549
By Marie Lynnette from St. Louis USA.

FACTS
"What you call a fact depends on the theory you bring to it."

- Albert Einstein -



 
 
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WeeklyJokes.com #22

Hi :),

Here is this week's joke from WeeklyJokes.com.


This is guaranteed to make you sing.

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager. Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says: "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000.
And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"


(Are you ready for this? Then keep scrolling....)


So the bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

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