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Sunday, February 28, 2010
A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail
Highly Recommended Book 
Saturday, February 27, 2010
WeeklyJokes.com #38
Hi :),
Here is this week's joke from WeeklyJokes.com.
Webster's
1. Wants & needs (wontz and nedz) n.
Female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
Male: Food, sex and beer.
2. Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.
3. Butt (but) n.
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
Male: The organ of mooning (and farting).
4. Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend
5. Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.
6. Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
7. Glass ceiling (glas see-ling) n.
Female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
Male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.
8. Lesbian (lez-bi-an) n.
Female: A woman who makes love to other women.
Male: A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch and get really turned on.
9. Making love (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.
10. Remote control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2-1/2 minutes.
11. Taste (tayst) v.
Female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good.
Male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.
12. Thingie (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
13. Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing ball without a cup.
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Clean Joke of the Day
If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************
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http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************
Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!
A man had just undergone his annual physical exam and was
waiting for the doctor's initial report. After a few minutes
the doctor came in with his charts in his hand and said,
"There's no reason why you can't live a completely normal
life as long as you don't try to enjoy it."
-----------------------------------------------------------
Do you have true joy in life?
Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in
believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of
the Holy Ghost. -Romans 15:13
I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!
Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity
P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
http://www.clean-joke-of-the-day.net/mail/rem.php?u=0e71ea7
or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com
Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:
Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102
Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.
Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)
Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.
A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail
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Friday, February 26, 2010
Clean Joke of the Day
If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************
Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!
The poor country man was deeply hurt as he confronted his
wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought.
"How could you do this!" he asked, almost in tears.
"I don't know," his wife wailed. "I was standing in the
store looking at the dress on sale. Then I found myself
trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me,
'You look great in that dress. You should buy it.'"
"Well," the poor country man persisted, "You know how to
deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!"
"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great
from back here, too."
-----------------------------------------------------------
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands;
that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the
word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they
behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of
plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on
of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in
that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek
and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great
price.
For after this manner in the old time the holy women also,
who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection
unto their own husbands: even as Sara obeyed Abraham,
calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do
well, and are not afraid with any amazement. -1 Peter 3:1
I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!
Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity
P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
http://www.clean-joke-of-the-day.net/mail/rem.php?u=0e71ea7
or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com
Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:
Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102
Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.
Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)
Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.
A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail
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Thursday, February 25, 2010
About Web Humor: Web Comedy Coming to HBO
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Clean Joke of the Day
If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************
Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!
An office reports they have an answering machine that
instructs callers to leave their name and address, and to
spell any difficult words.
Early one Monday when the secretary was reviewing the
weekend messages, she heard an enthusiastic young woman
recite her name and address and then confidently offer...
"My difficult word is reconciliation.
R-E-C-O-N-C-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N."
-----------------------------------------------------------
Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou
shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger
of the judgment: but I say unto you, That whosoever is angry
with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the
judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca,
shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say,
Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there
rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; leave
there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be
reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
-Matthew 5:21
I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!
Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity
P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
http://www.clean-joke-of-the-day.net/mail/rem.php?u=0e71ea7
or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com
Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:
Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102
Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.
Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)
Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.
A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Clean Joke of the Day
If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************
Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!
While on vacation in a busy tourist area, Lila called a
cafe to make reservations for 7:00 pm.
Checking her book, the cheery hostess said, "I'm sorry, but
all we have is 6:45 pm. Would you like that?"
"That's fine," Lila replied.
"Okay," the hostess confirmed. Then she added, "Just be
advised that you may have to wait 15 minutes for your
table."
-----------------------------------------------------------
Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not
thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because
of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from
anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to
do evil.
For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon
the LORD, they shall inherit the earth. For yet a little
while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt
diligently consider his place, and it shall not be. But the
meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves
in the abundance of peace. -Psalms 37:7
I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!
Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity
P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
http://www.clean-joke-of-the-day.net/mail/rem.php?u=0e71ea7
or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com
Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:
Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102
Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.
Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)
Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.
A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail
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