A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Animal Jokes :: #1038 By Mohammed from Muscat Muscat Unknown God created the donkey & said to him: "You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence & you will live 50 years. You will be a donkey. "The donkey answered: "I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is too much. Give me only 20 years. God granted his wish. God created the dog and said to him: "You will be a dog." You will guard the house of man. You will be his best friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 25 years. You will be a dog. "The dog answered: "Master, to live 25 years is too much, you give me only 10 years. God granted his wish. God created the Monkey and said to him: "You will be a monkey." You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. You will be a monkey. "The monkey answered: "Master to live 20 years is too much, you give me only 10 years. God granted his wish. Finally God created the man and said to him: "You will be a man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth." You will use your intelligence to become master over all animals. You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years. Man responded: "I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused. God granted his wish. And since then, man lives 20 years as a man, he marries and spends 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back. Then when his children are gone, he lives 15 years like a dog, taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him, so that when he is old, he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house, from one son or daughter to another, doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren. Forward this joke to your friends >>     Recommendation for You         The All-New Kindle 3G Smaller, Lighter, Faster with 50% Better Contrast and Free 3G Wireless. The most-wished-for, most-gifted, and has the most 5-star reviews of any product ...     Words of Knowledge :: #4272 By Nathan Castle from basye USA. Knowledge I am the pupil within the Eye; the retina is Knowledge, yet when detached, I am blind to life.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Airplane Jokes :: #7912 By Jim from USA. A pilot landed a plane with a rather bumpy landing. As part of his job he was required to stand by the terminal door and say goodbye to the passengers as they exited the airplane. He was afraid that someone might say something about his rather less than perfect landing, but everyone left without saying a word except for one passenger, an elderly lady, she slowly approached the pilot after most passengers had exited the plane and asked, "Did we land? Or were we shot down?" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Recommendation for You         The All-New Kindle 3G Smaller, Lighter, Faster with 50% Better Contrast and Free 3G Wireless. The most-wished-for, most-gifted, and has the most 5-star reviews of any product ...     Legal, Taxes & Wills :: #6080 By Gary from Burlington, IA USA. Estate planning for a blended family A QTIP trust, (qualified terminable interest property trust) lets you provide for your current spouse and your children from a previous marriage. You decide how much of your estate should go into a QTIP trust after your death. These assets give your spouse income for life. After your spouse dies, the principal goes to your children.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Cannibal Jokes :: #11758 By Jim Vining from Lacey WA USA. A cannibal entered the meat market to buy something nice for dinner. The owner greeted him and told him to look around. The cannibal began to inspect the meat case and noticed the market specialized in brain. Upon further inspection he noticed a marked disparity between the costs of brain meats. A carpenter's brain sells for $1.50 per pound. A plumber's brain sells for $2.25 per pound. He noticed with alarm that a politician's brain sells for $375.00 a pound. With not a little curiosity he asked the owner why the huge difference in price between the similar meats. The owner responded with a deadpan look on his face, "Do you realize how many politicians it takes to get a pound of brains?" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Recommendation for You         The All-New Kindle 3G Smaller, Lighter, Faster with 50% Better Contrast and Free 3G Wireless. The most-wished-for, most-gifted, and has the most 5-star reviews of any product ...     Career Skills :: #5901 By Helen from New York USA. Today's Jobhunting Statistics and Strategy Looking for a new job today is very different from looking for a job even five years ago. Here are a few statistics and tips to keep in mind when organizing your thoughts to formulate your plan. 1. 80% of new jobs today are acquired through networking. 2. You find a new job by as much as 40% faster when working with an employment coach. 3. As many as 48% of companies admit they have passed over or eliminated a candidate as a result of information they've discovered about a candidate on-line. When looking for a new job today, "googling" yourself at least once a week is a must! Make sure your resume contains POWERFUL content, not just duties or responsibilities have a networking strategy in order and only then hit the ground running! Happy hunting!     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

About Web Humor: The Most Awesome Photo of The Day: Stan Lee and Spider-Man

If you can't see this email, click here

Web Humor Web Humor Viral Videos Pictures & Comics Blogs From Lukas Kaiser, your Guide to Web Humor The Most Awesome Photo of The Day: Stan Lee and Spider-Man Spider-Man creator/living legend Stan Lee was hanging out at a comic book convention this past weekend and posed for pictures with his fans. The pictures? They're pretty amazing. Especially this one,... Read more The Most Awesome Photo of The Day: Candy Warrior Behold, ladies and gentlemen, the legendary Candy Warrior. He wields a mighty weapon -- candy -- and keeps the forces of evil at bay. He is nearly indestructible; his might... Read more Viral Video Alert: Cuuuute Bunnies in A Cup This video, of two adorable bunnies inside of two soda cups, is one of the most adorable things you will ever see, ever. Ever. There's not too much to say, other... Read more Stupid But Funny From a stupid headline on Fark to a rejected cartoon from The New Yorker to a ridiculous video on Funny Or Die, this is where stuff so stupid it's funny ends up. Web Humor Ads Cute Funny Cartoons Funny Pictures Funny Faces Photos Funny Pics Humor Funny Drunk More about Web Humor Blogs, Tweets & Emails Holiday Humor Smart Stuff For Kids Funny Websites Viral Videos   More from About.com Is it a Cold or the Flu? Knowing whether you have a cold or the flu can help you treat your symptoms more effectively. More > Concerned About Your Drinking? This short quiz can help you identify whether or not you have a drinking problem. Take the quiz now > This newsletter is written by: Lukas Kaiser Web Humor Guide Email Me | My Blog | My Forum   Sign up for more free newsletters on your favorite topics You are receiving this newsletter because you subscribed to the About Web Humor newsletter. If you wish to change your email address or unsubscribe, please click here. About respects your privacy: Our Privacy Policy Contact Information: 249 West 17th Street New York, NY, 10011 © 2010 About.com   Must Reads What Is a Viral Video? The Top 20 Viral Videos The 20 Funniest Celebrities on Twitter The Best Super Bowl Ads 2010 The 20 Funniest Webcomics Advertisement

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Male Jokes :: #659 By Luis Escobar from Texas USA. When Ted was putting flowers on his Grandmother's grave he noticed a man, very distraught, in front of a tombstone several yards away. The man was on his knees, hands tightly clasped in front of him, rocking back and forth, head tilted upward to heaven, tears streaming down his cheeks, moaning softly, "Why did you die? Why did you die?" Over and over again. Ted was overcome with emotion at this sight and went over to the poor man to try and console him. "Why did you die? Why did you die?" bellowed the man again and again. Ted gently put his arm around the man and half whispered to him, "My Grandmother is buried just over there. Is a loved one of yours buried here?" "No," sniffled the man, "It's my wife's first husband." Forward this joke to your friends >>     Recommendation for You         The All-New Kindle 3G Smaller, Lighter, Faster with 50% Better Contrast and Free 3G Wireless. The most-wished-for, most-gifted, and has the most 5-star reviews of any product ...     Interpersonal Skills :: #2642 By R.RAMACHANDRA RAO from HYDERABAD India Right and Left War does not determine who is right - only who is left BERTRAND RUSSEL     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Airplane Jokes :: #10637 By Anonymous from USA. All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture", and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort, and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." 2. On landing the stewardess said, "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out off this airplane." 3. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" 4. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted." 5. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite." Forward this joke to your friends >>     Recommendation for You         The All-New Kindle 3G Smaller, Lighter, Faster with 50% Better Contrast and Free 3G Wireless. The most-wished-for, most-gifted, and has the most 5-star reviews of any product ...     Proverbs :: #112 By Thomas Chang from Hong Kong China Light a Candle It is better to try to light a candle than to curse the dark. --ancient chinese proverb     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com