A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Holiday Jokes :: #22260 By Paul Tomlinson from USA. One Halloween a man was walking down the street and heard a thumping noise behind him. Looking behind him he saw a coffin following him, upright. He was a bit nervous and began walking a little bit faster. The coffin continued, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump". He began running and the coffin kept up and began opening and closing, ""thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap". Terrified he ran to his front door, and went inside, slamming the door and locking it. The coffin continued, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump - CRASH" it came right through the door, He ran up the stairs, and right behind him, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap". He rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door, but the coffin broke through the door - "thumpety thump, thumpety thump crash". Terrified the man grabbed the first thing he could, a bottle of robutusin and threw it - and the coffin stopped! Forward this joke to your friends >>   Love & Dating :: #301 By Ruby Watkins from Chile Fool for Love It doesn't interest me how old you are, I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. Oriah Mountain Dreamer     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Men Vs. Women Jokes :: #2695 By from USA. To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said. "Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That"s the owner." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Safety :: #3180 By Kevin F. Schaefer, CPO from Charlotte USA. Pulled Over By The Police? Being pulled over by a police officer can be as stressful for the officer as it is for the motorist. Although the majority of people are law-abiding citizens, a police officer must still be overly cautious during all traffic stops. Here are a few tips to follow when being stopped by the police. 1. Pull off of the road as far to the right as safely possible. 2. Stay in your vehicle unless asked to get out. 3. Turn on the interior light if the stop occurs at night. 4. Keep both hands on the steering wheel and do not make sudden movements. 5. If you are carrying a firearm, advise the officer of the weapon and its location. 6. Advise the officer if you need to reach for your license or registration. 7. If you are being stopped at night and you are driving alone, simply acknowledge the officer by turning on your flashers and driving at a reduced rate of speed to the nearest well lit area. Following these simple tips will make traffic stop less stressful for everyone involved.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

About Web Humor: Brad Pitt's Chanel Ad: SNL'ed It!

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Web Humor Web Humor Viral Videos Pictures & Comics Blogs From Beverly Jenkins, your Guide to Web Humor Hi all! First of all, I hope that all of our East coast readers stay safe when Hurricane Sandy touches down this afternoon. I've stocked up on the essentials myself: Bread, batteries, candles, books, and vodka (of course). Always prepared, am I right? Like all good internet addicts, I'm a bit worried about losing my internet connection for several days. I'm getting the shakes just thinking about it! Assuming you are still enjoying the warm glow of your computer monitors this week, check out what I wrote last week about Bill Murray, Brad Pitt's SNL spoof, and celebs who got famous thanks to the internet. This week, I'll be giving you my favorite Reddit AMA ("Ask Me Anything") sessions, so check that out when you can. Anyway, stay safe, friends! Bev Brad Pitt's Chanel Ad: SNL'ed It! This week the e-world is collectively giggling over one of our favorite movie stars, Brad Pitt, looking extraordinarily foolish in his newest commercial money-grab for Chanel No.5.  The ad, which... Read more Search Related Topics:  brad pitt  saturday night live  spoofs I Heart Bill Murray Anyone who knows me knows that I have a little thing for actor Bill Murray.  Yes, I know he's a lot older than I am, and I know he's not... Read more I Made You Something For Halloween Today, as I was researching ways to turn Halloween from scary to funny for this article, I decided to make you something on JibJab.   You're welcome. Does this giant head... Read more Search Related Topics:  halloween  pop culture  e-cards For Kids Viral videos, articles, jokes and other funny stuff on the Web that's just right for kids. Related Searches Humor Comedy Funny Video Joke Comedy Funny Funny Email Cards Funny Quotes Featured Articles Funny Websites Viral Videos Best of the Best Web Comics Stupid But Funny Blogs, Tweets & Emails   More from About.com Plan a Caribbean Vacation Whether you're planning a romantic escape, a girlfriend getaway, or an active family vacation we've got the resources you need. Read more...> How to Eat Locally Eating locally has many benefits, the food is fresher, tastes better, and has less environmental impact. But how can you get started? Read more...> This newsletter is written by: Beverly Jenkins Web Humor Guide Email Me | My Blog | My Forum   Sign up for more free newsletters on your favorite topics You are receiving this newsletter because you subscribed to the About.com Web Humor newsletter. If you wish to change your email address or unsubscribe, please click here. About.com respects your privacy: Our Privacy Policy Contact Information: 249 West 17th Street New York, NY, 10011 © 2012 About.com   Must Reads 5 Stars Discovered By The Internet Site Profile: The Superficial Big Bird's Time To Shine 5 Hilarious Fake News Sites 10 Funniest Gangnam Style Parodies   Follow me on: Advertisement

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Entertainment Jokes :: #15874 By Anonymous from USA. Our generation never got a break. When we were young they taught us to respect our elders. Now that we are older, they tell us to listen to the youth of the country. Forward this joke to your friends >>   Famous Quote :: #51 By Peter Prestipino from Chicago USA. QUOTE: Success, Emerson "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success." -Ralph Waldo Emerson     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Airplane Jokes :: #7912 By Jim from USA. A pilot landed a plane with a rather bumpy landing. As part of his job he was required to stand by the terminal door and say goodbye to the passengers as they exited the airplane. He was afraid that someone might say something about his rather less than perfect landing, but everyone left without saying a word except for one passenger, an elderly lady, she slowly approached the pilot after most passengers had exited the plane and asked, "Did we land? Or were we shot down?" Forward this joke to your friends >>   Fitness :: #140 By don Paterson from Seattle USA. Building Endurance If you want to walk or jog for longer periods of time without getting fatigued, continue with a weight-lifting routine. Lifting weights not only builds strong muscles, but also can improve your aerobic capacity. Improving your aerobic endurance level will enable you to walk, bike, swim, or jog for longer periods of time before exhausting yourself.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Bar & Drinking Jokes :: #444 By Laura Reidlinger from Unknown There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan." So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!" -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears. Forward this joke to your friends >>   Love Quotes :: #161 By Jenny Chawdhry from Miami USA. Path to Truth There is no path to truth, it must come to you. Truth can come to you only when your mind and heart are simple, clear, and there is love in your heart; not if your heart is filled with the things of the mind. J. Krishnamurti     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Teachers Jokes :: #22268 By Kassquiezo from Namibia The teacher asked little Peter; "If I have 5 mangoes in one hand and five mangoes in the other, what do I have?" " Big Hands, " said Peter. Forward this joke to your friends >>   Stress Control :: #1076 By Walter R. Jones, Jr. from Snellville USA. Worrying "Worrying is like a rocking chair, sure it gives you something to do, but in the end you never get anywhere."     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Kid Jokes :: #428 By Laura Buhler from St. George UT USA. It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said, "But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held he package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!" SURPRISE! Forward this joke to your friends >>   Relationships :: #1102 By Tina112 from London United Kingdom Motto for Life! "It's far better to tell the truth and be rejected, than to hold it back and be accepted"     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com