Friday, February 17, 2023

Meet Jack's Former Girlfriends

Here's a list of the ones that got away
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The Weekly Bird

MEET JACK'S FORMER GIRLFRIENDS

Hello, beautiful!
MJ

MJ shared the same name as Spiderman's girlfriend, but that was the end of her appealing qualities.

Another Hungry Man, babe!
RACHEL

Rachel was a real sweetheart, but she also had a sweet tooth.

Jack woke up to the sound of her unwrapping and eating twelve Reese's cups in the middle of the night.

What are you eating...
MI-YOO-CHOW

Jack was in love with Mi from the second he heard she dated white guys.

Unfortunately, Mi didn't want to commit to a guy going to a second-tier Ivy like Dartmouth unless it was for a STEM degree.

Sorry, Mi
AARON

Yeah, she used the common male spelling, but she was all woman in high school.

She would later marry a woman, but that had nothing to do with Jack.

Ms. and Ms. Aaron
PENNY

Jack only dated her because she was named after money.

However, she did not share his fiscal fascination.

I'd like to go home now...
Birddogs
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