Thursday, December 31, 2009

About Web Humor: Happy New Year's!

About.com    Web Humor
In the Spotlight | More Topics |
  from Lukas Kaiser
2009 was a great year for web humor. 2010 will be even better. I hope. Maybe all the funny will stop. Doubt it! See you next year!

 
In the Spotlight
10 New Year's Resolutions All Men Should Make
AskMen.com compiled a pretty great list of the 10 New Year's Resolutions All Men Should Make. Some of them are earnest (like "make an appointment for a checkup" and... Read more

 
           More Topics
Salon's Best Viral Videos of the Decade
Check out this interesting list of the the best viral videos of the decade from Salon.com.

 
The Top 20 Viral Videos of All Time
You might recognize several of the humorous viral video choices as they appeared on my Top 20 Viral Videos of All Time list. Consensus! Yay!

 
 
Sponsored Links
 
Feeling Under the Weather?
Evaluating Your Cold Symptoms
How to tell when a runny nose is just a cold, and when it might be turning into something more serious and require a visit to the doctor. More>

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A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

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The Joke of The Day
Sport Jokes :: #20672
By Anonymous from USA.

The boozer took careful aim at the bird, but hit a frog. He picked it up, studied it, scratched his head and said, "Well, anyhow I knocked its feathers off."


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  * Highly Recommended Book  
 
  Comedy Comes Clean 5 Stars   Comedy Comes Clean
A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!
 
 
The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Love & Dating :: #3505
By Dee from Baldwin Park USA.

Happiness is...........
Happiness is like a butterfly...

The more you pursue it, the more it will elude.

When you learn to be patient and still.

It will fly over and land on your shoulder.

 
 
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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Clean Joke of the Day

If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

One Christmas, a busy mom decreed that she was no longer
going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties.

As a result, their grandmother never received
acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given.

The next year things were different, however.

"The children came over in person to thank me," the
grandparent told a friend triumphantly.

"How wonderful!" the friend exclaimed. "What do you think
caused the change in behavior?"

"Oh, that's easy," the grandmother replied. "This year I
didn't sign the checks."
-----------------------------------------------------------

But we are bound to give thanks alway to God for you,
brethren beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the
beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of
the Spirit and belief of the truth: Whereunto he called you
by our gospel, to the obtaining of the glory of our Lord
Jesus Christ.

Therefore, brethren, stand fast, and hold the traditions
which ye have been taught, whether by word, or our epistle.

Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father,
which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting
consolation and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts,
and stablish you in every good word and work.
-2 Thessalonians 2:13

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
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or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com


P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

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The Joke of The Day
Police Jokes :: #18335
By BOB from BELFAST USA.



A policeman spots this Bloke walking up Royal Ave. pulling a 12 foot long rope and asks, "What do you think you are doing pulling this 12 long rope up Royal Ave.?"

The Bloke replied: "have you ever tried pushing it?"




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  * Highly Recommended Book  
 
  Comedy Comes Clean 5 Stars   Comedy Comes Clean
A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!
 
 
The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Home Life :: #1382
By Liz Russell from USA.

How to keep Spiders Away
It's hard to kill spiders because they don't lick their bodies like ants and other insects so they don't absorb insecticides.

But they won't walk over sharp things.

I have been successful finally after trying many things. The secret is Epsom salts! It has sharp crystals!

Just pour it on windowsills and doors, inside and out. Rain will wash it away, just reapply.

It's CHEAP, comes in a milk type carton, easy to use, and it WORKS !!!

I have a friend who sprays Pam (water would dissolve the crystals) and then pours the Epsom salts all the way around her doors and windows, also, some on the carpet to her bedroom.



 
 
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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Clean Joke of the Day

If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

One day my mother was out and my dad was looking after me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from a
bad cold. Someone had given me a little tea set as a get-well
gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Dad was in the living room engrossed in the evening news
when I brought Daddy a little cup of "tea," which was just
water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such
good tea, my mom came home.

Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him
a cup of tea. ("It's just the cutest thing!") My mom waited
and sure enough, I came down the hall with a cup of tea for
Daddy. She watched him drink it, then said (as only a mother
would)... "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she
can reach to get water is from the toilet?"
----------------------------------------------------------

Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be
clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols,
will I cleanse you. A new heart also will I give you, and a
new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the
stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart
of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you
to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and
do them. And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your
fathers; and ye shall be my people, and I will be your God.
I will also save you from all your uncleannesses: and I will
call for the corn, and will increase it, and lay no famine
upon you.

And I will multiply the fruit of the tree, and the increase
of the field, that ye shall receive no more reproach of
famine among the heathen. Then shall ye remember your own
evil ways, and your doings that were not good, and shall
lothe yourselves in your own sight for your iniquities and
for your abominations. Not for your sakes do I this, saith
the Lord GOD, be it known unto you: be ashamed and confounded
for your own ways, O house of Israel. Thus saith the Lord GOD;
In the day that I shall have cleansed you from all your
iniquities I will also cause you to dwell in the cities, and
the wastes shall be builded. And the desolate land shall be
tilled, whereas it lay desolate in the sight of all that
passed by. And they shall say, This land that was desolate is
become like the garden of Eden; and the waste and desolate
and ruined cities are become fenced, and are inhabited. Then
the heathen that are left round about you shall know that I
the LORD build the ruined places, and plant that that was
desolate: I the LORD have spoken it, and I will do it.
-Ezek 36:25-36

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
http://www.clean-joke-of-the-day.net/mail/rem.php?u=0e71ea7
or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com


P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

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The Joke of The Day
Miscellaneous Jokes :: #20669
By Anonymous from USA.

His girlfriend had just learned to drive the car and now they were out in the suburbs racking along over seventy. "Doesn't speeding over the beautiful country make you glad you are alive?" she asked.

"Glad?" He raised an eyebrow. "Glad in not the word for it. I'm amazed."




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  * Highly Recommended Book  
 
  Comedy Comes Clean 5 Stars   Comedy Comes Clean
A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!
 
 
The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
One-Liners :: #1114
By RGOVINDA RRAJAN from HYDERABAD India

Service
The hands that serve, are holier than lips that pray.

 
 
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Monday, December 28, 2009

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

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The Joke of The Day
Work Jokes :: #19949
By Maggie from Los Angeles USA.

Looking over the log book kept by the computer support staff at my office, I noticed several entries stating the problem was PICNIC. I asked one of the technicians what PICNIC meant. He laughed as he told me it meant "Problem In Chair, Not In Computer"


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  * Highly Recommended Book  
 
  Comedy Comes Clean 5 Stars   Comedy Comes Clean
A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!
 
 
The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Stress Control :: #331
By Eddie Robinson from Boston Mills USA.

Coping with stress
Many of the stressful situations we come across in your daily lives cannot be avoided or changed, but we can change how we respond to the stress. Try improving your way of dealing with stress or a stressful situation. Take a deep breath.

 
 
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Sunday, December 27, 2009

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

aJokeADay.com - A Joke A Day
 
The Joke of The Day
Business Jokes :: #18759
By Anonymous from USA.

An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer. "As you are fitting her glasses, if she asks how much they cost, you say '$150.' "If her eyes don't flutter, say, 'For the frames. The lenses will be $100.' "If her eyes still don't flutter, you add, 'Each.'"


Forward this joke to your friends >>

 
  * Highly Recommended Book  
 
  Comedy Comes Clean 5 Stars   Comedy Comes Clean
A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!
 
 
The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Business :: #1316
By Ana Bogdanovic from Perth Australia

Don't just sell your product, use it!
A market is never saturated with a good product, but it is very quickly saturated with a bad one.

--Henry Ford

 
 
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WeeklyJokes.com #29

Hi :),

Here is this week's joke from WeeklyJokes.com.


MONTANA GRIZZLY BEAR WARNINGS

In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field.

"We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear poop. Black bear poop is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear poop has little bells in it and smells like pepper."

And now I would like to invite you to claim your instant
free access to the "Ask Don't Tell Marketing
Secrets Guide" by going to
http://www.TheAskMarketingSystem.com

You'll get a 54-page Guide (in PDF format) that gives
you the secrets to ask-based marketing and shows you
how to take the guesswork out of marketing your business.

While you're there, tell us what's the biggest challenge
you have marketing your business.

From Jim Oliver (author and Marketing Coach)
& TheAskMarketingSystem

----------------------------------------

What is your biggest question concerning Golden Retrievers?

http://www.MyGoldenRetrieverSecrets.com

----------------------------------------

Free inspiration, motivation, and humor in your email inbox.

http://www.BestDailyQuote.com

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Saturday, December 26, 2009

Clean Joke of the Day

If this was forwarded to you, you can subscribe yourself and
receive clean, Christ honoring humor simply by visiting
http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
************************************************************

Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!

I was casting kids at church for our annual Christmas play,
and was giving out choices, such as Shepherd, Lamb, Villager.

One 5-year-old couldn't decide, so I said, "Luke, you can be
a Villager." He said, "OK," and ran over to his parents.

Very excited, he said to them, "Guess what! I get to be a
mini-van!"
----------------------------------------------------------

What role do you play?

Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the
believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit,
in faith, in purity. -1 Timothy 4:12

I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!

Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity

P.S. If you wish to leave, please click here:
Not interested in receiving more? Click here:
http://www.clean-joke-of-the-day.net/mail/rem.php?u=0e71ea7
or visit http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com


P.S. Jesus has a message for you: http://christfocus.com

Clean Joke of the Day is a ministry supported by faith. You can be a part of this ministry too, through prayer and financial giving. Simply mail your comments or gifts to the following address:

Clean Joke of the Day
520 West Main Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73102

Phone: 405-200-1692
Web: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
Email: joe@christfocus.com

***********************************************************
Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.

Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
***********************************************************

Clean Joke of the Day is never sent unsolicited. Your email address is receiving this communication because you visited http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and manually signed up for this communication, or someone else has manually subscribed you (that's not good:)

Clean Joke of the Day is a recurring email that is sent 6 times every week. If you wish to leave this publication, please visit http://cleanjokeoftheday.com and type your email address into the subscribe form, select "remove"
from the drop down box, and click submit. Alternatively, you can also click on the remove link in the first P.S.

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

aJokeADay.com - A Joke A Day
 
The Joke of The Day
Entertainment Jokes :: #18760
By Anonymous from USA.

A doctor got a phone call from one of his colleagues. "We need a fourth for poker," the voice on the phone said. "I'll be right over," replied the doctor. As he was putting on his overcoat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," he said gravely. "They've had to call in three other doctors as well."


Forward this joke to your friends >>

 
  * Highly Recommended Book  
 
  Comedy Comes Clean 5 Stars   Comedy Comes Clean
A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!
 
 
The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Automotive :: #81
By Pablo from Chicago USA.

Avoid excessive idling
Shut off engine while waiting for friends and family. Today's vehicles are designed to "warm up" fast, so forget about those long warm-ups on cold winter mornings.



 
 
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