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Howdy :), it's me, Joe Cosity here!
What should we do about the terrible effects of bread?
1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming
households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked
in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50
years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many
women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid,
yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed
within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has
been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used
to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread
than that in one month!
6. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to
"harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and
even cold cuts.
7. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human
body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating
bread could lead to your body being taken over by this
absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey
bread-pudding person.
8. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
9. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees
Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than
one minute.
10. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to
distinguish between significant scientific fact and
meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics, we propose a
nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign. Will you
participate?
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And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall
not live by bread alone, but by every word of God. -Luke 4:4
I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!
Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity
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Email: joe@christfocus.com
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Clean Joke of the Day exists to proclaim the truth of God, Jesus Christ, through emotional encouragement and spiritual exhortation.
Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
joe@christfocus.com
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