Saturday, June 5, 2010

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

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The Joke of The Day
Miscellaneous Jokes :: #572
By Gemma Piscotti from Chicago IL USA.

Things to do @ Wal-Mart while the significant other is taking his/her sweet time:

1. Get cans of cat food and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realize it.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.

5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10."

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Put M&M's on layaway.

8. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

10. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"



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  Comedy Comes Clean 5 Stars   Comedy Comes Clean
A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!
 
 
The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Security :: #39
By Peter Prestipino - A7Alarms.com from Chicago USA.

SECURITY TIP: Check the doors
A lock on a flimsy door is about as effective as locking your car door but leaving the window down.

· All outside doors should be metal or solid wood.

· If your doors don't fit tightly in their frames, install weather stripping around them.

· Install a peephole or wide angle viewer in all entry doors so you can see who is outside without opening the door. Door chains break easily and don't keep out intruders.



 
 
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