Sunday, October 24, 2010

A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

aJokeADay.com - A Joke A Day
 
The Joke of The Day
Business Jokes :: #19672
By Anonymous from USA.

CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.



CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.



BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.



VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.



P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the

market keeps crashing.



BROKER -- What my broker has made me.



STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.



STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.



STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets

equally between themselves.



FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.



MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.



CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.



YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.



WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought

Yahoo @ $240 per share.



INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.



PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.




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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Famous Quote :: #51
By Peter Prestipino from Chicago USA.

QUOTE: Success, Emerson
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson



 
 
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