A Joke A Day - Jokes ByEmail

Sport Jokes :: #5835 By Myrta Ayala-Garza from Brownsville Texas USA. This was one of my dad's favorite jokes: Emmitt Smith died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gates, St. Peter was waiting for him and issued Emmitt an invitation to play for the HFL- the heaven football league. Emmitt thought about it for a minute and said, "Sure!" As they walked out to the field, there was a game in progress. Emmitt was stunned. There were a lot of ex-NFL players out on that field. But what he found to be strange was that the jerseys didn't have any numbers. Instead they had letters on them. So he turned around and questioned St. Peter about the numbers. St. Peter chuckled and told him, "Up here we don't need numbers. The letters stand for the position they are playing, QB is for quarterback, WR is for wide receiver and so on." Emmitt smile and nodded his head. But as he gazed around the sidelines, he got a perplexed look on his face. On the other side of the field, there was a man wearing a jersey that had the letters TL. "St. Peter, as you know, I played football many years with the Dallas Cowboys and I am familiar with all the positions. But in all my years I have never seen the position of TL." St. Peter laughed and said, "Oh yeah, I forgot. That's just God, he likes to pretend that he is Tom Landry." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Health :: #1202 By Liz Russell from Las Vegas USA. DANGEROUS ANTIQUES ! Between Antiques' Road Show, Martha Stewart and "How-To" cable TV shows, many people are buying old items like dishes, mugs, bowls, glasses, etc. HOWEVER there is a caveat of danger. Many of these items in use contain LEAD!! We all know about the dangers of lead in water, but glass and ceramics contained very high amounts of lead. Lead crystal for example. IN ADDITION, many imports still contain lead in pottery, kitchen items like glasses, dishes, etc. There is a simple test to detect lead in antiques that are use. A simple stick from the hardware store rubbed on the object will change color in the presence of lead and perhaps make an antique something to enjoy by looking at instead of using. I haven't heard of the dangers of lead in a long time, and the new generation of collectors may not know about this and many forget about it. Informing the public could be a great lifesaver!     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokesbyemail@gmail.com