Friday, March 10, 2023

Karl Ranks Trash Bags

It's exactly what it sounds like
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The Weekly Bird

KARL RANKS TRASH BAGS

Hefty vs. Glad

The Hefty trash bag showed a lot of promise with handling bulk, but it lacked smell moderation technology. 

Karl has incredibly stinky trash.

It's mostly fish waste but there's some other stuff too.

One of Karl's main evaluation criterion for testing trash bags was the 'emergency toilet' test.

A bag needs to be able to hold 12 pints of liquid and several pounds of solids. 

Why so much? Karl says that's what makes it an emergency situation.

In addition to field tests, Karl completed an economic projection on the costs of the various brands of trash bags.

It was quite impressive and annoyed Jack. 

You did all this and you still ask me how to digitally sign your timecard?

After a full evaluation, Karl named the "Glad ForceFlex Protection Series: Gain Moonlight Breeze" as his #1 bag.

His review described the scented bag as "an erotic journey through the veil of twilight."

We have no idea what that means.
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