He comes from a long line of successful Fartknockers͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
| | UNCOVERING THE PROUD LINEAGE OF ART FARTKNOCKER | | The Vice Principal of Heater High School comes from a long line of successful Fartknockers. | | Art's lineage can be traced all the way back to Farticus Caesar. | | He was known for having the biggest orgies Rome had ever seen. | | Magnus Von Fartknock was a legendary viking that pillaged more towns than anyone. | | His signature move was to sh*t in the town's well so that nobody could ever drink from it again. | | Bart Fartknocker was a Lieutenant in the Civil War. | | He survived six battles by pretending to be shot and just laying there until everyone ran out of gunpowder. | | Art's maternal grandfather, Part Fartknocker, claims to have invented the middle hair part. | | He says the cartoonist of Dennis the Menace stole his idea... and yes, Art's parents both have the last name Fartknocker. | | Art's brother, Blart Fartknocker, was a mall security guard. | | However, instead of funny hijinks, he accidentally pepper sprayed an elderly man who ended up dying from a heart attack. | | No longer want to receive these emails? Unsubscribe.
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