The Secret Power of Rejection

How long it takes to make a true friend, how to navigate family dynamics, and more! ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Issue #9   I   December 19th, 2024 Photography by Flo Maderebner           Welcome back to The Mindset by Super Age. During the holidays, even with all the festivity and beauty, we might feel a little off—like the connection we crave with family or friends is just out of reach. The good news? There’s an easy fix: be useful. When visiting family during the holidays, I often felt frustrated that they didn’t really understand who I was. But I realized something powerful: by focusing on helping them—pitching in, contributing—I could completely change how I felt. Suddenly, I wasn’t apart from them; I was part of them. Even if they didn’t understand me, I felt connected. Superpower unlocked. Not everyone’s family is like mine, and sometimes, the disconnect can feel bigger, even harmful. But if you’re feeling a little stuck, try this: accept that not everyone thinks or feels like you do—and that’s okay. Look for ways to pitch in to build a shared purpose. If family isn’t the right place, volunteer somewhere. Deliver a meal to someone without family. Call an old friend who might need a boost. The holidays are a time to show up as our best selves—kind, giving, and connected. The secret? It’s not about getting what we need. It’s about giving what we can. Onward and upward!         Is Kindness Like Cardio? Turns out exercise isn’t the only thing that’s good for your heart. A recent meta-analysis of 16 studies found a strong link between acts of compassion and heart rate variability (HRV)—the tiny changes in time between heartbeats that reflect physical health and resilience. Why does this matter? High HRV is associated with better adaptability to stress and improved overall well-being. Whether you’re being kind to yourself or someone else, compassion boosts vagal tone—a measure of how effectively the vagus nerve (part of the parasympathetic nervous system) helps regulate stress. Remarkably, compassion boosts heart rate variability as effectively as regular physical exercise. (But no, it’s not a free pass to skip cardio. You still need to huff and puff to keep your heart strong and pumping.)     Here's How Long It Takes to Make a True Friend Making friends as an adult is hard—49% of adults struggle to make new friends, according to the American Perspectives Survey. Yet, having a robust friend group predicts your longevity more than genetics. According to a study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, it takes about 50 hours to move from acquaintance to casual friend, 90 hours to become real friends, and a whopping 200+ hours to reach BFF status. Here’s the kicker: these hours don’t come from awkward small talk at networking events—they’re built during shared activities, meaningful conversations, and just hanging out. Quality over quantity, always. The holidays are tailor-made for building meaningful connections. So, grab a mug, swap some stories, and start stacking those friendship hours—because the best gifts don’t come wrapped.     Social Awkwardness Is a Superpower If you start to feel rejected or unseen during the holidays, remember that your brain’s got your back. A new study in PNAS reveals how our brains process both social acceptance and rejection—and how we use those experiences to adapt and thrive in relationships. Here’s the fascinating part: we don’t just react emotionally to rejection—we learn from it. Our brains engage two processes: we evaluate whether someone values us (think: being someone’s first choice), and we track concrete rewards like invitations or recognition. These insights influence who we choose to approach or avoid, shaping future social connections. If holiday festivities leave you feeling unmet this season, remember—your brain is wired to process, adapt, and grow. Reframe rejection as information, not failure, and focus on relationships where mutual value shines.              Were you forwarded this email? Sign up here We want to hear from you! How can we help you Super Age? Reply to this email and tell us what you want to read about. This issue of Super Age was written, edited, and produced by David Stewart and Heather Hurlock. Privacy & Terms | Contact | Partner With Us Copyright © 2024 All rights reserved Super Age 3419 Via Lido, Suite 657 Newport Beach, CA 92663     Unsubscribe