I thought we had the newly-sworn in FBI Boss beat, until disaster struck...

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	Forwarded this email? Subscribe here for more I played hockey against FBI Director Kash Patel I thought we had the newly-sworn in FBI Boss beat, until disaster struck... Feb 24   READ IN APP   This weekend at an undisclosed location I played in a men's league hockey game against FBI Director Kash Patel. His squad, a scrappy bunch who play hard on the puck and make up in grit for what they lack in flash, went down 3-0 in the first period. Not only did I have nothing to do with any of the three goals that my team scored, I also violated the ice-age hockey credo: One shall not count certain victory in the first period of a hockey game, which is won and lost by momentum and teamwork more than individual skill. I thought that because we were winning, we would continue to win. We did not. "We're gonna shitpump America's Chief Law-Enforcement Officer, boys!" I confidently exclaimed from the bench. My team may or may not be named the Narcs (short for narcotics agent) and I may or may not be player #420, who provided the rinkside intelligence for this report. Through a series of doorstep rebounds and crease battles, the Director and his team rallied back and evened the score with the alleged Narcs at 3-3. At one point during this rally, the Director blocked a shot with a hard chop that broke the stick of one of our best players. One of our snipers nicknamed Joose ripped a snapper and made it 4-3. But the FBI Director’s squad scored a hard-fought, bang-bang goal 30 seconds later. It was 4-4 in the third and final period. Then the Director and his team popped in another rebounder, taking the lead for the first time that night. Then another gritty goal; it was 6-4. Finally their team scored an empty netter to finish the job, a 7-4 loss for me and my team. Now, a brief word from our sponsor (piece continues below) Presented By Birch Gold A Message from Dr. Ron Paul... 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They've helped thousands of Americans diversify their IRA or 401(k) with gold. And they can help you too! See how when get this free info kit on gold: Click here to get your FREE Info Kit on Gold IRAs Don't wait for our systemic problems to trigger a crisis. The time to protect your retirement savings is now! Learn how to shield your savings from decades of financial mismanagement. Click here for your free info kit now. Get My Free Info Kit Continued: In the locker room after the game, the gang and I were less-than devastated. Men's league regular season represents more of a play act of the real thing: everyone makes playoffs and that's any old-man's game. Many of our guys weren't aware that we just spent an hour firing pucks at our nation's new domestic police boss until I proclaimed, "well at least we lost to the Director of the FBI." One of our teammates, who checked Patel on the ice, didn’t even realize that he had bumped helmets with the Bureau’s boss until after the game. From my intelligence gathering, I purport this was Patel's first formal hockey game as the Chief Law Enforcement Officer of the United States. Apparently, Patel is off to a good start; a comeback victory from a deficit of 3-0 is worth merit no matter the politics or the sport. This is neither a puff piece nor a hit piece, because on the ice there is one thing that matters and one thing only: how well the boys play as a unit and what the scoreboard says at the end of the night. The good news for me is that I was able to drink two Molsen's from the bench as I sat in between shifts. I was sipping the suds while I tried to figure out how we Narcs could tourniquet the bleeding and preserve our initial lead. The good news for America is that Patel and his team came out on top. When it comes to men's league hockey, both sides of the team don't give a holler whether the guy they're skating with is red, blue, or an absolute bender (a term derived from a newbie whose ankles bend when they try to skate). What matters is whether one plays for the guys next to them on the bench and—even if they throw a slightly reckless poke check once in a while—whether that player cares about the game enough to play it with grit to the bitter end. I shook Kash Patel's hand after the game, "Good game, Director." Then I skated away laughing at the gravity of this hockey game in which I, a FAKE NEWS reporter had just played. For first time in American history, a hockey bro was running our American police. In 2025 life is stranger than fiction to say the least. If I may venture an opinion, the Director marks an upgrade from Mr. Lipstick Jay Edgar Hoover or that hulking drama queen known as James Corney, ahem, Comey. By all accounts these former FBI Directors were showmen, while Patel has proven to be a team player—I have confirmed this much with multiple members of his men’s league squad. The simple facts remain: Director Patel's team scrapped their way to victory and didn't once threaten to persecute me for wearing number 420, or for taking a few wayward clappers that may have zipped past the new Director's head. None of that mattered because hockey is about results, and the newly minted FBI Director’s team won the game. PolitiBrawl is a reader-supported publication. To support our work, consider becoming a paid subscriber today. Upgrade to paid A guest post by Richie McGinniss Richie McGinniss is a DC-based independent journalist with over 12 years of experience working for media outlets across the political spectrum. Subscribe to Richie You're currently a free subscriber to PolitiBrawl. For the full experience, upgrade your subscription. 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